First, we express our own needs. Second, we search for the real needs of the other person, no matter how they are expressing themselves. If they are not expressing a need, but instead an opinion, judgment, or analysis, we recognize that, and continue to seek the need behind their words, the need underneath what they are saying. Third, we verify that we both accurately recognize the other person’s needs, and if not, continue to seek the need behind their words. Fourth, we provide as much empathy as is required for us to mutually hear each other’s needs accurately. And fifth, having clarified
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