3 x Carlin: An Orgy of George including Brain Droppings, Napalm and Silly Putty, and When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?
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For instance, the terms white meat, dark meat and drumstick came into use because in Victorian times people didn’t like to mention certain body parts. No one at the dinner table really wanted to hear Uncle Herbert say, “Never mind the thighs, Margaret, let me have one of those nice, juicy breasts.” It would’ve made them uncomfortable.
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Another role euphemisms play is to simply put a better face on things, to dress up existing phrases that sound too negative. Nonprofit became not-for-profit, because nonprofit sounded too much as though someone didn’t know what they were doing. Not-for-profit makes it clear that there was never any intention of making a profit in the first place.
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many things that used to be free are now complimentary. Asking the hotel clerk if the newspapers are free makes you sound like a mooch, but “Are the newspapers complimentary?” allows you to retain some small bit of dignity.
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THOU SHALT NOT STEAL. • THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS. Stealing and lying. Actually, when you think about it, these two commandments cover the same sort of behavior: dishonesty. Stealing and lying. So we don’t need two of them. Instead, we combine these two and call it “Thou shalt not be dishonest.”
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when you think about it further, honesty and fidelity are actually parts of the same overall value. So, in truth, we could combine the two honesty commandments with the two fidelity commandments, and, using positive language instead of negative, call the whole thing “Thou shalt always be honest and faithful.”
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THOU SHALT NOT KILL. Murder. The Fifth Commandment. But, if you give it a little thought, you realize that religion has never really had a problem with murder.
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Apparently, to religious folks—especially the truly devout—murder is negotiable. It just depends on who’s doing the killing and who’s getting killed.
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THOU SHALT ALWAYS BE HONEST AND FAITHFUL,
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THOU SHALT TRY REAL HARD NOT TO KILL ANYONE,