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Damen hauled him up and over, nor did he immediately pull away, just stood breathless in Damen’s arms. Damen’s hands were on Laurent’s waist; his heart was hammering. They froze, too late.
To prevent this, he was plastered so tightly against Damen that Damen could feel every crease in the fabric of his garments, through which, the warm, transmitted heat of his body.
Laurent’s hair tickled his neck. Damen stoically endured it.
Damen suppressed the urge to groan. The whole length of Laurent’s body was flush against his own, thigh against thigh, chest against chest. Breathing was dangerous. Damen needed, increasingly, to interpose a safe distance between their bodies, to push Laurent forcefully away, and couldn’t. Laurent, oblivious, shifted slightly, to look behind himself and view the proximity of the shutter. Stop moving around, Damen almost said; only some thin thread of self-preservation prevented him from speaking aloud. Laurent shifted again, having seen, as Damen saw, no way for them to squeeze out of hiding
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lol
‘Stay back, old man. It isn’t your business. This is the Prince of Vere.’ ‘But—I only paid three coppers for him,’ said Volo, sounding confused. ‘And you should probably put some pants on,’ said the man, adding awkwardly, ‘Your Highness.’ ‘What?’ said the boy.
Damen felt Laurent start shaking against him, and realised that, silently, helplessly, he was laughing.
FIRST LAUGH
We’re looking for two men. One was a barbarian soldier, a giant animal. The other was blond. Not like this boy. Attractive.’ ‘There was a blond lord’s pet downstairs,’ said Volo. ‘Brained like a pea and easy to hoodwink. I don’t think he was the Prince.’
The shaking, progressively, had worsened. ‘Stop enjoying yourself,’ Damen murmured. ‘We’re going to be killed, any minute.’ ‘Giant animal,’ said Laurent. ‘Stop it.’
STOP THIS IS SO CUTE
He found himself laughing a little breathlessly, and saw his expression twinned on Laurent’s face. Laurent’s blue eyes were full of mischief.
LWEIKROWIANDKLVCXIEW
‘I think we’re safe,’ said Damen. ‘Somehow, no one saw us.’ ‘But I told you. It’s the game I like,’ said Laurent, and with the toe of his boot he deliberately pushed a loose roof tile until it slid off the rooftop and shattered in the street below. ‘They’re on the roof!’ came the call from below.
it's the game I like - LAURENT, you sneaky bastard.
‘Wait. It’s too exposed. You stand out, in this light. Your mousy hair’s like a beacon.’ Wordlessly, Laurent pulled Volo’s woollen cap from his belt. Damen felt it then, the first dizzy edge of new emotion, and he let go his hold of Laurent like a man fearing a precipice; and yet was helpless.
‘You’re alive,’ Damen said, and the words came out on a rush of relief that made him feel weak. ‘I’m alive,’ said Laurent. They were gazing at one another. ‘I wasn’t sure you’d come back.’ ‘I came back,’ said Damen.
‘I didn’t think you’d say yes,’ said Damen. Laurent said, ‘I have recently learned that sometimes it is better to simply smash a hole in the wall.’
‘He’s had suitors,’ said Jord. ‘Just none who got him into bed. Not for lack of trying. You think he’s pretty now, you should have seen him at fifteen. Twice as beautiful as Nicaise, and ten times more intelligent. Trying to tempt him was a game everyone played.
‘This wasn’t his end game,’ said Laurent. ‘That will happen at the border.’ ‘You know what he’s going to do,’ said Damen. ‘I know what I would do,’ said Laurent.
‘What is it?’ said Laurent. ‘Nice accent,’ said Damen, because despite everything, the corner of his mouth was beginning helplessly to curve up. Laurent’s eyes narrowed.
hes flirting
When he saw Damen, he pushed himself up on one arm and gave a single wide-eyed blink. Then, soundlessly, behind the press of a hand, he started helplessly laughing. Damen said, ‘Stop. If I laugh, I’ll fall over.’ Damen squinted at a separate fur pile near Laurent’s, then made his best attempt: he wove, reached and then collapsed down onto it. This seemed the pinnacle of accomplishment. He rolled over on his back. He was smiling. ‘Halvik had a lot of girls,’ he said. The words came out sounding like he felt, sated and sex-drenched, exhausted and happy. The furs were warm around him. He was
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oh my gosh hahaha
There was only one thing he could do. As the spray of water sheared up from under his horse, he hefted his sword, changed his grip, and threw.
‘I saw you fall.’ Damen heard the rough sound of his own voice. ‘Are you hurt?’ ‘No,’ said Laurent. ‘No, you got to him.’ He had pushed himself up into a splayed sitting position. ‘Before.’ Damen was passing a hand from the join of Laurent’s neck and shoulder down over his chest, frowning. But there was no blood, no protruding bolt or fletching. Had the fall injured him? Laurent sounded dazed. Damen’s attention was all on Laurent’s body. Concerned with the possibility of injury, he was only distantly aware of Laurent looking back at him. Laurent’s body was very still under his hands as the
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THIS SCENE.
It meant sharing a horse.
yaaaaaaaaaa buddy. Buckle up
Damen knew this about riding pillion: closer, it was easier on the horse.
Laurent saw to the horses. Damen saw to the fire.
Laurent likes horses
Damen was aware that Laurent was taking more time with the horses than was necessary or usual. He ignored it. He built the fire.
again, Laurent likes horses. Alert the Priest.
‘I was surprised,’ said Laurent, ‘the first time.’ ‘The first time?’ said Damen. Another silence. ‘He poisoned my horse,’ said Laurent. ‘You saw her, the morning of the hunt. She was already feeling it, even before we rode out.’ He remembered the hunt. He remembered the horse, fractious and covered in sweat. ‘That…was your uncle’s doing?’ The silence stretched out. ‘It was my doing,’ Laurent said. ‘I forced his hand when I had Torveld take the slaves to Patras. I knew when I did it…it was ten months to my ascension. Time was running out for him to make a definitive move against me. I knew
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Damen said, ‘It’s not naive to trust your family.’ ‘I promise you, it is,’ said Laurent. ‘But I wonder, is it less naive than the moments when I find myself trusting a stranger, my barbarian enemy, whom I do not treat gently.’ He held Damen’s gaze, as the moment lengthened.
just shove me off a cliff at this point. It's too much to handle.
Damen now knew the precise number of arrows Laurent needed to have trained on him in order to shut him up. It was six.
SIX.
The clan leader stepped in close, too close to hit Laurent—close enough that he was breathing all over Laurent when he slid his hand slowly down over Laurent’s body. Damen moved before he realised it, heard the sounds of impact and resistance, felt the burn in his veins. His faculties were obliterated by anger. He was not thinking about tactics. That man had laid hands on Laurent, and Damen was going to kill him.
POSSESSIVNESS HAS ARRIVED FOLKS.
The place Laurent had chosen to position them was not a random spot on the edge of the fighting—it was the northern path out of the camp, the same route along which Damen had been taken. If Laurent had been any other man, Damen might have suspected him of coming this way to find him. Because Laurent was Laurent, the reason was different.
You FOOL. He was coming to get you!!!
Damen pushed himself up on an elbow, and propped his head on his hand, his fingers in his hair. He saw that Laurent was looking at him. Not watching him, as he did sometimes, but looking at him, as a man might look at a carving that has caught his attention.
‘Mine has a little more fabric. Are you disappointed?’ ‘I would be,’ said Damen, rearranging his legs again, ‘if the lamp weren’t behind you.’
LOLLLLLLLLLLLL
‘It’s lucky you do not have the size to breed great warriors.’ And then he stopped himself. This was the wrong mood. This was the mood if he were here with a warm, amenable partner, someone he could tease and pull in towards himself, not Laurent, chaste as an icicle. ‘My size,’ said Laurent, ‘is the usual. I am not made in miniature. It’s a problem of scale, standing next to you.’
Honestly, facts hahaha
It was like being pleased by a thorn bush, feeling fond of every prickle. Another second and he was going to say something ridiculous like that.
Laurent said, ‘I told the clansmen to make it hurt.’ Damen said, ‘It saved my life.’ After a pause, Laurent said, ‘Since I can’t throw a sword.’
Damen was in possession of all his limbs, and even had his clothing restored to him. Thank you, Laurent. Nosing down steep declines on horseback was not something he preferred to do in a loincloth.
He applied a gentle pressure with his thumbs. He said, ‘You brought me ice, last night.’ ‘This,’ said Laurent, ‘is a little more—’ It was a word of sharp points: ‘—intimate,’ he said, ‘than ice.’ ‘Too intimate?’ Damen said. Slowly, he was kneading Laurent’s shoulders. He did not usually think of himself as someone with suicidal impulses.
it's unusual but it does happen
Then Damen’s eyes travelled up along the balanced nape, to a wick of golden hair tucked behind an ear.
TUCKED BEHIND HIS EARRRRRRRRRRRRR
‘That’s right, I’m still captured,’ said Damen. ‘Your eyes say, “For now,” ’ Laurent said. ‘Your eyes have always said, “For now.” ’ And then: ‘If you were a pet, I would have gifted you enough by now to buy out your contract, many times over.’ ‘I’d still be here,’ said Damen, ‘with you. I told you that I would see this border dispute through to its finish. Do you think I’d go back on my word?’ ‘No,’ said Laurent, almost as if he was realising it for the first time.
‘I mean that whatever…whatever taint exists in my family, Auguste was free of it.’ ‘Taint?’ ‘I wanted to tell you that, because you,’ said Laurent, as though he was forcing the words out, ‘You remind me of him. He was the best man I have ever known. You deserve to know that, as you deserve at least a fair…In Arles, I treated you with malice and cruelty. I will not insult you by attempting to atone for deeds with words, but I would not treat you that way again. I was angry. Angry, that isn’t the word.’ It was bitten off; a jagged silence followed. Laurent said steadily, ‘I have your oath that
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‘I don’t understand how your uncle has you backed this far into a corner. You can outplay him. I’ve seen you do it.’ Laurent said, ‘Maybe it seems that I can outplay him now. But when this game began I was…younger.’
Sickening
Younger. Laurent had been fourteen at Marlas. Or…Damen moved months around in his head. The battle had been waged in early spring, Laurent reached his maturity in late spring. So, no. Younger. Thirteen, on the cusp of fourteen. He tried to picture Laurent at thirteen, and experienced a total failure of imagination. It was just as impossible to imagine him fighting in battle at that age as it was to imagine him trailing around after an older brother he adored. It was impossible to imagine him adoring anyone.
‘I can deny anything I like,’ said Laurent, ‘in the absence of proof.’ ‘He has proof. He has my testimony. I saw everything.’ A rider pushed out intrusively from behind the others, shoving back the hood of his cloak as he spoke. He looked different in an aristocrat’s armour, with his dark curls primped and brushed, but the pretty mouth was familiar, like the antagonistic voice and the bellicose look in his eyes. It was Aimeric. Reality tilted; a hundred innocuous moments showing themselves in a different light. As understanding came like a cold weight to Damen’s stomach, Laurent was already
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SHIT
but how could you betray your uncle’s trust, after the kindness that he has lavished on you?’ ‘Uncle’s immoderate kindness,’ said Laurent. ‘I promise you, it was easy.’
oh gosh I feel sick
‘What was it, do you think, that Orlant found out, that got him skewered on Aimeric’s sword?’
GASPING
Damen said: ‘We will not let them cow us, subdue us or force us down. Ride hard. Don’t stop to fight the front line. We are going to smash them open. We are here to fight for our Prince!’ The cry rang out, For the Prince! The men gripped their swords, slammed their visors down, and the sound they made was a roar.
MY HEART
‘Frills are for parades. An unyielding foundation wins battles.’ ‘It would not have been my strategy.’ ‘I know. You overcomplicate things.’
LOLL
‘Then we’ll have a swift victory. I meant what I said. If we sleep tonight inside the walls of Ravenel, in the morning, I will take off the collar from around your neck. This is the battle you came here to fight.’
Break the lines. Break them. He set out his own call for Laurent’s men to re-form around him. A commander, shouting, could expect to be heard by, at best, the men next to him, but the call was echoed in voices, then in horn blasts, and the men, who had practised this manoeuvre outside Nesson over and over, came to him in perfect formation, with the majority of their number intact.
He knows that any decision that ends with me on the throne ends with his head on the block, Laurent had said of Guion.
Lord Touars said, ‘The slave,’ scornfully, and, having reclaimed his sword from the ground, tried to bury it inside Damen. Damen cast him back with a parry and a strike that shattered Touars’s shield.
SHATTERED???? HIS SHIELD???? DAMN DAMEN.
‘Damianos,’ Touars said. ‘Prince-killer.’ It was the last thing he said. Damen pulled the sword out. He took a step back. He became aware of a man drawn alongside them, frozen in stillness even in the midst of battle, and knew that what had just happened had been seen, and overheard. He turned, the truth on his face. Stripped bare, he could not hide himself in that moment. Laurent, he thought, and lifted his gaze to meet the eyes of the man who had witnessed the last words of Lord Touars. It wasn’t Laurent. It was Jord.
F*CKKKKKKKK. OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO OH NO.
