the psychopathic breakup checklist: Covertly sprinkle hints that they are interested in someone else. Repeat Step 1 until you finally react. Calmly imply that you are being oversensitive and jealous. Give you the silent treatment for being sensitive and jealous. Repeat Step 4 until you start to self-destruct. Use your self-destruction to convince the new target that you’re crazy, that way the new target doesn’t feel like their cheating is “wrong.” Use your self-destruction to convince their friends that you’re crazy; that way they have full support from their fan club when they replace you.
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