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And despite some differences between each disorder, the bottom line is that their relationship cycles can be predicted like clockwork: Idealize, Devalue, Discard.
A stranger who practices introspection in order to better conquer their own demons.
Normal couples argue to resolve issues, but psychopaths make it clear that negative conversations will jeopardize the relationship, especially ones regarding their behavior.
Look within and understand why you felt the way you did when you were with your abusive partner and how you felt before you met them. You will discover that many old relationships may need revisiting. And as you begin to abandon toxic patterns, healthier ones will inevitably appear in their place.
In general, it’s important to be open with your emotions. But at your most insecure moments, you may unknowingly open the floodgates for more abuse.
Manipulative people are always “telling” because they have nothing good to show.
The label doesn’t make your feelings any more or less valid. Your feelings are absolutes. They will endure, no matter which word you settle upon.
Think of someone you love. Someone who consistently inspires and never disappoints. It could be anyone—your mom, a close friend, your children, your cat, a deceased relative. Really, anyone. You might feel that you have no Constant. Of course you do; you can even dream one up. Imagine a higher power in your mind—one that brings peace to your heart. Colorful, glowing, and full of life. Embodying all of the qualities you admire most: empathy, compassion, kindness.
Psychopaths do not actually feel the love and happiness that they so frequently proclaim. They oscillate between contempt, envy, and boredom. Nothing more.
If you went from normal to “crazy” to normal again, that’s not crazy. That’s someone provoking you.
Psychopaths would never admit it, but they’ll always have a bitter respect for people who can see them for what they really are.
Psychopaths are always bored, and they constantly seek out stimuli to distract themselves from this nagging condition. They cannot tolerate being alone for any extended period of time. Healthy human beings learn to enjoy quiet time and introspection—this is how we discover some of the most important things about ourselves. Psychopaths, on the other hand, have nothing to discover. They spend their free time mirroring others and copying desirable traits.
does this person create harmony, or do they engineer chaos?
If you are constantly worrying or doubting your thoughts, it’s time to stop second-guessing yourself and start taking action. Miraculously, every single time you remove that toxic person from your life, you will find that the anxiety subsides. Only you can truly know if someone is harming you. Only you know what is
best for you. You can decide whether or not you like the way you feel around someone. No one can ever tell you that your feelings are wrong. Remember the question: How are you feeling today? The answer is all that matters.
Silence is one of the most powerful tools of identity erosion. It is covert punishment, intended to manipulate a change in behavior without actually appearing to be overtly manipulative.
Cutting contact with toxic people will transform your life. At first, it feels miserable—like you’re going cold turkey from an addiction. But as time goes on, you come to discover that each passing day brings unexpected new blessings. You begin to develop self-respect, boundaries, and true friendships.
Every bit of communication with the psychopath only serves to hurt you.
The brain learns habits, so teach it healthier ones.
TRY TO LET GO OF THE ILLUSION The first step in healing from psychopathic abuse is to stop all contact with the psychopath. And the only way to do that is to let go of the image you had of the person you loved.
ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL AND THINK All normal human beings attempt to avoid pain. Yet, paradoxically, it is by facing the pain and moving through it that we find beauty, because on the other side of our deepest suffering, we have the opportunity to experience the
Continuously pushing the obsessive thoughts away can actually be more harmful than helpful. You most likely are experiencing symptoms of
Amazingly, if you step into the pain instead of running from it, you begin to see who you are at a deeper level. You develop self-respect and self-love and new confidence. You learn to trust your intuition. And when you are able to trust yourself, then you will start to find others who are worthy of
What I’m saying is, there comes a time in your recovery process when all the answers to all the questions you are asking are just going to lead to more questions. There comes a time when the endless analysis needs to stop, a time when you have to learn to quiet your brain and learn to listen to your gut and accept what it is telling you. If you keep filling your brain with doubts because of the psychopath’s lies, and reaffirming them, you won’t leave any space inside your mind for the truth.
Your mind needs to be washed with, and awash in, the truth. The percentage of truth you put into your mind is in direct proportion to the percentage of psychopathic brainwashing that you put out of it. To put it simply, as the truth grows larger, the psychopath’s brainwashing will grow smaller. The more your brain is washed in the truth, the more the lies
