Sofia Khan is Not Obliged

by Ayisha Malik

Who is this prejudiced person who suffers from punctuation hysteria,

‘It’s important to have goals,’ she said, collapsing in her chair and switching on her computer. ‘Don’t you find that life is otherwise just, stagnant.’ ‘You do know that when you run, you’re the one moving, not life?’

‘I hope you don’t go around telling authors that raisins grow on raisin trees.’ This doesn’t bode well for my writing career. Surely this is the kind of thing a writer (and normal human) should know? ‘They’re not included in your dating book, are they?’ he asked. ‘I think it’s best to stay away from shrivelled up things.’ Like my ovaries, for example.

That was the most passive-aggressive ‘Insh’Allah’ I’ve ever heard. God will not be willing with that tone, young man.

For someone who’s apparently a writer now, I am about as articulate as a dog.

He furrowed his brows. ‘Nothing is more important than my daughters.’ That’s the nice thing about dads; they actually believe this.

People end up popping pills for the rest of their lives because of ‘what-ifs.’