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Why are women not told again and again to be kind and loving towards their husbands? Perhaps it is because unconditional love already comes naturally to women. Few men complain that their wives do not love them. But many complain that their wives do not respect them.
When someone says, "I respect your advice," they mean "I will follow your advice."
But won’t this unconditional respect towards one’s husband put us, as women, in a weak, submissive position? Won’t we set ourselves up to be taken advantage of and abused? Quite the contrary. The Qur’an, the prophetic example, and even contemporary research have proven the exact opposite. The more respect a woman shows her husband, the more love and kindness he will show her. And in fact, the more disrespect she shows, the harsher and less loving he becomes.
Similarly, a man may question why he should show kindness and love towards even a disrespectful wife. To answer this question, one only needs to look at the example of Omar Ibn ul-Khattab. When a man came to Omar (who was Khalifah at the time) to complain of his wife, he heard Omar’s own wife yelling at him. While the man turned to leave, Omar called him back. The man told Omar that he had come to complain of the same problem that Omar himself had. To this Omar replied that his wife tolerated him, washed his clothes, cleaned his home, made him comfortable, and took care of his children. If she
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"It was We Who created man, and We know what dark suggestions his nafs (self) makes to him: for We are nearer to him than (his) jugular vein." (Qur’an, 50:16)
He gives us a multiple choice exam with only one option to choose from: the correct answer. The hardship itself is ease.
beauty of having righteous, angel-like souls as your company is something priceless.
Nothing is difficult if you seek it through your Lord, and nothing is easy if you seek it through yourself."
"I have not created jinn and humans (for any purpose) except to worship me," (Qur’an, 51:56).
On the other hand, losing my job, all my wealth, and even falling ill, may in fact be the greatest blessing ever given to me if it brings me closer to God—my ultimate purpose.
"It may happen that you hate a thing which is good for you, and it may happen that you love a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows, you know not." (Qur’an 2:216)
The Prophet said: If the child of a servant (of Allah) dies, Allah says to His Angels: ‘Have you taken the child of My servant?’ The Angels reply: ‘Yes.’ Allah says to them: ‘Have you taken the fruit of his heart?’ They reply: ‘Yes.’ Then Allah says to them: ‘What did my servant say?’ The Angels reply: ‘He praised Allah and said: ‘To Allah do we return.’ Allah tells them: ‘Build a home for my servant in Paradise and call it Baytul Hamd (the House of Praise).’ [Tirmidhi]
The words of Rumi explain beautifully: "When someone beats a rug with a stick, he is not beating the rug—his aim is to get rid of the dust. Your inward is full of dust from the veil of ‘I’-ness, and that dust will not leave all at once. With every cruelty and every blow, it departs little by little from the heart’s face, sometimes in sleep and sometimes in wakefulness."
Everything in this life is a test.
"The present world is only an illusory pleasure: you are sure to be tested through your possessions and persons; you are sure to hear much that is hurtful from those who were given the Scripture before you and from those who associate others with God. If you are steadfast and mindful of God that is the best course." (Qur’an, 3:186)
As soon as we internalize that it is only a test, our questions drastically change. Instead of asking: "How could this be happening?" "Why is it so unfair?" our questions become: "How should I react?" "How should I pass this test?" "What am I meant to learn?" "How should I see through this illusion, to the creator of the one who’s hurting me, the one who’s oppressing me, and the test itself?" "How can we as a community use this test to bring us closer to our final destination, God?" and "How can we use this test to fulfill the purpose for which it was created - a tool to bring us nearer to
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"how could this happen to us" to realize the true purpose of the test itself: a created tool to purify, strengthen and bring us closer to the Creator of you, me and all our enemies.
And suddenly I felt as though I was seeing the reality of this hadith in the little girl. I saw what looked like a soul imprisoned because it belongs to another world—a better world, where it doesn’t have to get sick.
As if to say, salah is our real life; all the rest that we fill our day with…just motions.
So it should be of no surprise to anyone that neglecting salah becomes the very first step in the path to a lower life.
"Our Lord descends during the last third of each night to the lower heaven, and says: ‘Is there anyone who calls on Me that I may respond to him? Is there anyone who asks Me that I may give unto him? Is there anyone who requests My Forgiveness that I may forgive him?’"
We must never allow ourselves to think that anything in this world succeeds, fails, is given, taken, done, or undone without Allah. It is only by our connection to our Creator that we rise or fall in life, in our relationship with our world—and with all of humanity.
"Fasting is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may attain taqwa (God-consciousness)." (Qur’an, 2:183) By controlling and restraining our physical needs, we gain strength for the greater battle: controlling and restraining our nafs (our soul’s desire).
Remember that fasting is not just about staying away from food. It is about striving to become a better person.
I’m driving back to where I began: with God. Because God is Al-Awal (the Beginning) and God is Al-Akhir (the End). My body is taking me there, but it’s only a vehicle. When I get there, it will stay behind. As he did today. My body came from the ground and it will go back to the ground, as it came. It was only a shell, a container for my soul. A companion for a while. But I’ll leave it here when I arrive. Arrive—not depart. Because that’s my home. Not this. That’s why when Allah (swt) is calling back the righteous soul, He says, ‘irjiee’: return. (Qur’an, 89:28)
He will consistently make you look at those who appear to do less than you, to justify your own shortcomings. For example, if you don’t wear hijab, he’ll make you think, "There are hijabis that do x, y, z bad things! At least I don’t do those things! I do x, y, z good things that hijabis don’t do!" Or if you slacken in prayer, you may think, "At least I’m not clubbing or drinking like so and so." Remember, Allah isn’t grading on a curve. It makes no difference what others are doing. We all stand alone on the Day of Judgment.
I'm not here to be on display. And my body is not for public consumption. I will not be reduced to an object, or a pair of legs to sell shoes. I'm a soul, a mind, a servant of God. My worth is defined by the beauty of my soul, my heart, my moral character. So, I won't worship your beauty standards, and I dont't submit to your fashion sense. My submission is to something higher.
Had the image of the ‘knight in shining armor’ really been replaced by visions of macho, catcalling boys in the street?
One of the most common definitions of manhood today is the lack of emotional expressiveness. It is almost universally believed that to cry is ‘unmanly’ and weak. And yet the Prophet described it very differently. When the Prophet was handed his daughter’s son who was dying, his eyes flooded with tears. His companion Sa`d then told him, "What is this, Prophet of God?" He said, "This is a mercy that the Almighty has made in the hearts of His servants. And surely God has mercy to the merciful ones among His servants." [Bukhari]
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In fact, with regards to showing affection, the Prophet was very clear. He said: "If a man loves his brother in faith, he should tell him that he loves him." [Abu Dawud]
The Prophet used to also show a great deal of affection towards his wives. Aisha reported that the Prophet would only enjoy his meals when she would sit next to him. They would drink from one cup and he would watch where Aisha would place her lips on the cup so that he could place his lips on the exact position. He would eat from a bone after she would eat from it, placing his mouth where she had eaten. [Muslim]
And while it’s nice of you to want to call us ‘modern’ or ‘moderate,’ we’ll do without the redundancy. Islam is by definition moderate, so the more strictly we adhere to its fundamentals—the more moderate we’ll be. And Islam is by nature timeless and universal, so if we’re truly Islamic—we’ll always be modern.
The nasr (help and victory) for His deen is promised. The question is whether you and I will be part of it.