Reclaiming Conversation: The Power of Talk in a Digital Age

by Sherry Turkle

We had talk enough, but no conversation. —SAMUEL JOHNSON, THE RAMBLER (1752)

Conversation is on the path toward the experience of intimacy, community, and communion. Reclaiming conversation is a step toward reclaiming our most fundamental human values.

A more satisfying public conversation will require work.

Research tells us that being comfortable with our vulnerabilities is central to our happiness, our creativity, and even our productivity.

Multitasking degrades our performance at everything we do,

all the while giving us the feeling that we are doing better at everything. So it makes us less productive no matter how good it makes us feel.

I call it “I share, therefore I am.” We share our thoughts and feelings in order to feel whole.

They are convenient. They make us feel in control. But when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable and less in control, our relationships, creativity, and productivity thrive.

Indeed, in a quiet moment, all of us, child and adult, have to fight the impulse to turn first to our devices.

communities have atrophied, we have moved from living in actual communities to making efforts to feel as though we are living in them. So, when we talk about communities now, we have moved “from a relationship to a feeling.” We have moved from being in a community to having a sense of community. Have we moved from empathy to a sense of empathy? From friendship to a sense of friendship?

If you think conversation is important for your organization, you can’t just say so or design beautiful kitchens and cafeterias to facilitate it. You have to leave time and space. Most of all, senior management has to model it, leading by

daily example. If not, the beautiful spaces simply become amenities. And new employees who start conversations will wonder if they should apologize.

But studies show that on average, an office worker is distracted (electronically) every three minutes and that it takes an average of twenty-three minutes to get back on track

Although the web provides incomparable tools to inform ourselves and mobilize for action, when we are faced with a social problem that troubles us, we are tempted to retreat to what I would call the online real. There, we can choose to see only the people with whom we agree. And to share only the ideas we think our followers want to hear.

And right now, our politics requires conversations, too long deferred, about being a self and a citizen in the world of big data.

We don’t so much conform because we fear the consequences of being caught out in deviant behavior; rather, we conform because what is shown to us online is shaped by our past interests.

But as it works now, it also narrows our exposure to ideas. We can end up in a bubble in which we hear only the ideas we already know.

“Freedom of the mind requires not only, or not even especially, the absence of legal constraints but the presence of alternative thoughts.

People need private space to develop their ideas.

Slow down. Some of the most crucial conversations you will ever have will be with yourself. To have them, you have to learn to listen to your own voice.

Protect your creativity. Take your time and take quiet time. Find your own agenda and keep your own pace.

Learn to see boredom as an opportunity to find something interesting within yourself.

The moment is right. We had a love affair with a technology that seemed magical. But like great magic, it worked by commanding our attention and not letting us see anything but what the magician wanted us to see.