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What an ass. It was. A fine one. A thick, juicy, round ass hugged tightly by his jeans.
HUE-MA.
Hhahahhaha
“Well, it looks like you’re not exactly headed anywhere anytime soon. I guess it’s payback for calling me a bitch.” “Well, that would seem to be the case.” “That it’s payback?” “No, that you’re a bitch.”
BANTER ON POINTTTT
“Yes. Yes, I am. If I change your tire, you let me ride with you.” “Ride with me?” “Ride me, yes.” “What did you just say?” “You’re hearing things.”
“It’s a fuck of a lot safer than driving alone.” “Not if you’re a serial killer!” “Look who’s talking. You’re the one who decapitated a U.S. president.”
LMAO
The light from a passing car lit his face, and there it was. Number thirteen. His angry eyes were exactly the color of number thirteen. I used to have to peel the paper off Cadet Blue in the Crayola sixty-four pack before the other crayons had even lost their points. I liked it so much, it wasn’t just the color I’d shaded the sky. There was a whole year of my life when all the faces in my coloring books were that beautiful blue with a mysterious touch of gray. I’d never seen the color in real life on anything, especially not eyes.
“When was the last time you were really good and rooted?” “Rooted? What?” “Fucked, Princess. When was the last time you were properly fucked?”
“Okay. It’s not hard to find a beautiful woman, right? Definitely not hard to find a smart woman. And there are definitely some women with good hearts. But in my experience, it’s extremely rare to find the whole package.”
seat. “I may not be an expert in women, but I know enough about them to know that fine means definitely not fucking fine.” “Well, apparently you don’t know me. Because fine means fine.” He ignored me and continued with his analysis of one simple word. “And the speed at which the fine is delivered is directly proportional to the level of pissed off.” He drank his coffee and tipped the mug in my direction. “And your fine came pretty damn quick.”
attraction doesn’t come close to what I feel when I look at you. You really want to know what I feel when I look at you now?”
The only thing that could possibly be more beautiful than your face when you smile at me, is your face with me inside of you.”
“So yeah, you’re right. I’m not attracted to you. It’s more like I’m captivated by you.”
TWO YEARS LATER
Youre killing me
“Harry. Harry Beecham. I’ve heard so much about you.” You’ve got to be shitting me? Harry? “Wish I could say the same.”
???
“No fucking way!” I yelled. My voice must have scared him, and he went down for the count. Mutton. Holy shit. Mutton!
“What the hell is this? She has a collar on you?” I looked closer at the name. Pixy.
Cocky – since you have nothing better to do, how about fixing the closet doors?
Lmaoo
Here I was looking for a stupid sign, when all along I’d had the key. Dick rang the bell. They’d been together seven months, and she hadn’t given the princess fucker a key. I’m not the other guy.
“Oh baby. I could go blind after watching you and never feel like I’d missed seeing anything.
“Dude, you’re never gonna believe what I just saw.” “What’s that, Mate?” “There was a chick in line with a goat on a leash.”
