Lingus

by Mariana Zapata

I loved my kids even though they were a bunch of little dingleberries at times, but I reminded myself daily that some adults were full-blown shit-heads all the time. I figured I was doing the world a favor by shaping the young minds of potential little butt-heads and, hopefully, steering them toward a less asshole-ish existence in the future.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

"I think you should find a younger porn star to watch from now on," he said in a husky voice before brushing his hand down the length of my ponytail and stepping away. "Bye, Kat." My ponytail whispered to me that she would never be the same again.

My bullshit-meter had become finely tuned after teaching pathologically lying fourth graders.

"Kat?" "Yes?" He let out another yawn. "You're my favorite person in the world. Goodnight."