Avoid the mistake of stopping with the negative aspects of the problem. Doing that can make the person feel as though she just got dumped on, with no way to resolve the problem, or feel that there is no way to please you, that you are insatiably critical. Instead, let her know what you would like to see that would change the situation and solve the problem. This gives her hope, a structure, and a chance to do something to make the relationship better.
