Failure to make this distinction commonly happens in a relationship in which one person is more structured than the other. One may be more orderly, time-conscious, budgeted, or organized than the other. The less structured one is looser and okay with things being more “unraveled.” Typically, the structured one feels that her way is the “right” way and approaches the conversation in that fashion. This is usually a disaster. Instead of demanding better behavior from her spouse, what she should be doing is asking to negotiate a compromise — just asking the other person to come her way a bit.
