How to Have That Difficult Conversation: Gaining the Skills for Honest and Meaningful Communication

by Henry Cloud

Things can change when the person experiencing the effects of the problem takes the initiative to resolve it.

a boundary is your personal “property line.” It defines who you are, where you end, and where others begin.

People without clear boundaries are unsure of their opinions, feelings, and beliefs. They find themselves easily controlled by the demands of others because they feel unsure of themselves when they need to take a stand.

In this book we deal with one specific aspect of boundaries: We tell you how to set them by having a helpful and effective “talk” with another person. We will sometimes refer to that confrontation as a boundary conversation, that is, a talk with someone in which you confront a problem you want to resolve with the person.

Many of us live in two worlds when it comes to relationships. In one world we have friendly conversations in which we avoid all disagreements; in the other we have major conflict-type conversations that tear everybody and everything up. In the first world we have connection without truth, and in the second we have truth without connection.

Our connections are best when they are truthful, and our truth is best when we are connected.