Real Homeschool: Letting Go of the Pinterest-Perfect and Instagram-Ideal Homeschool

by Karen DeBeus

Everywhere we turn, social media is screaming at us and showing us pictures of what we should be. Slowly, gradually, we start following the world and trying to bring God with us, rather than letting God lead us and then bringing the world with us!

I have often thought about those early homeschoolers who had no Internet or fancy curriculum but truly sought the Lord in their decision to homeschool. I admire them so much! They weren’t busy showing off their schoolrooms or their kids on Instagram; they were deep in the nitty-gritty of daily homeschool life when homeschooling wasn’t even mainstream. They weren’t spending hours on Pinterest, but probably hours in the Word.

We need to stop living up to an Internet ideal and live only for God’s ideals.

REAL HOMESCHOOL A real homeschool is one with God at the center. A real homeschool is the one where He is glorified. A real homeschool may not look beautiful on the outside, but on the inside, the heart work is being done and the Lord is working. A real homeschool is one where mommies are lifting each other up in a beautiful community and not competing with each other. A real homeschool is being transformed by Him and not conforming to this world. Let’s get rid of the “Pinterest-Perfect” and the “Instagram Ideal” and get back to His ideal. He is the only perfect we need. Let us take this road together…and be real. Real Homeschool. It is a beautiful picture.

Homeschooling is about so much more than a snapshot of a day; it is a lifelong journey. It is about education, discipleship, family, and eternal matters. We are shaping a whole new generation in a countercultural way. Discipleship has nothing to do with a fancy schoolroom or cutesy arts and crafts. This journey is much more serious. The future is at stake. We need to stop. We need to stop getting distracted. If we are distracted by worldly things, before we know it, we will have shifted from our eternal perspective to a worldly one. We cannot emphasize the temporal instead of the eternal. We must keep our focus laser sharp. It is just too easy these days to be distracted, and there is much at stake. The next generation of homeschoolers is at stake.

We forget that God’s Word trumps the Internet any day. God’s Word has the answers we need and His standards are set there for us. Before we jump on the Internet, do we search God’s Word? Do we seek Him first? Do we pray? Or is our immediate instinct to search out social media? Are we searching out what everyone else has to say or are we searching out what God has to say? When we get some quiet time, do we spend it online, or do we spend it with Him first? Do we forget Who has called us to the homeschooling journey? Are we basing our ideals for our homeschools and our lives on the world’s or His? Are we choosing Him first?

I have learned when I spend time at His feet and just listen, there is more peace and more clarity. I know when I spend time with Him first, He leads me and the desire to seek out other things dwindles.

Those early homeschoolers had a deep and strong conviction from the Lord to raise their children up at home, where they belonged. And because of those homeschoolers, we are here today. The homeschooling movement has exploded because of those faithful first homeschooling families, the ones who were up against all odds but still followed His calling. We are here because of the ones who fully relied on God to lead them in this countercultural lifestyle. They had no idea what the future would hold for them, but they stepped out in faith.

Have we become so wrapped up in portraying that perfect homeschooling family that we are more occupied with our image than with our hearts? Are we focused solely on academics so that spiritual needs are falling by the wayside? Are we filling up our schedules with endless activity, but neglecting time with Him? What are we truly teaching our children about our standards and Who sets them? Whose expectations are we trying to meet? His or the world’s? Are we basing our homeschool on a Pinterest board or Him?

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.” There you have it, right there. In a nutshell, that is a Real Homeschool: one that is being transformed by God and following His perfect will while not being conformed to this world.

Somewhere along the way, our homeschools have started to follow this worldly pattern. The homeschooling movement went from a countercultural movement to blending right in with the world. We are showing off the good stuff. Dressing it up. Filling up with stuff. The focus has shifted off of the heart and onto how things look. We are not being transformed anymore, but we are conforming to the world’s ideals.

The problem is when we define our success and our worth by these things. The problem comes when we compare our homeschool to others and when we start to doubt ourselves because of what everyone else is doing. The problem comes from focusing on the outside more than the inside. And the biggest problem of all comes from these things distracting us from our first and foremost purpose in life: God Himself. And He alone is Who we answer to each day. We work for an audience of one. Keeping up with the “Internet ideal” and not God’s ideal will quickly be our downfall.

We are not called to look like the world but to look like disciples.

We are raising the next generation to know Him and make Him known. We are training disciples for a hard and difficult world. We are not training disciples to fill up a cute Pinterest board. The calling is so much bigger than that. Beginning each day with Him, rather than on the Internet is a start. Never let your eyes read something before you have read His Word first.

We must begin by filling our minds with Him. Then, we will have a little less room each day for the unimportant or useless noise. I want my children to remember that I taught them about the Lord in our homeschool. I want them to remember that I gave them something very special. I gave them an education that focused on God and His Word. I want them to know Him above all else.

I want my children to grow up to be God-honoring people who are on fire for the Lord. I need to be an example to them now and show them how that life looks. And the truth is, it is not found searching Pinterest. It is found in the Word, knowing Him, and getting out into the world, loving others and making Him known. Life is too short to be spent chasing after an Internet-ideal life. This homeschooling season will eventually end, and our children will grow up. Where are we storing our treasure?

What will remain in the hearts of our children? What are we investing in? Are we teaching them a lifelong love of God’s Word? Are we teaching them eternal values? The one thing that will remain is The Lord. Let us remember to store our treasure in heaven, and not here on earth. The world will pass away, but He will remain. Let our legacy for this generation be one that has taught them the Word, above all else.

Be discerning with what you are reading. Glean from it what you can; but do not think you see the full picture, because when we think that is the full picture and start basing our ideal life on that (false) picture, we set ourselves up for trouble. Sometimes we see a glimpse of people's lives–a moment in time that is frozen –and we judge their whole life based on that moment.

Social media has brought a whole new level to relationships; don’t let envy or bitterness or judgment take root. Be very discerning and guard your thoughts. Social media is not necessarily real life. It is like dressing up and getting everything in order before the company comes over. When we have guests, we clean up everything just a little bit extra. We may even use our best dishes. Before the guests arrive, we lecture our kids about how to behave accordingly during the visit. Everyone smiles and is on his or her best behavior for that evening. It isn’t the full picture of what daily life looks like. And everyone knows that.

We need to own up to our pride too –we all have been there. We are having a great moment, and we feel the need to “share it.” We want everyone to know about it. Sometimes, I do just want to share my joy. There is nothing wrong with that. But it is a very fine line. I have learned always to check my motive first. Why am I sharing it? Is it with a spirit of pride? Is it just going to end up puffing me up for a bit? Now we can’t take responsibility if someone feels badly for our joy. That is certainly their issue. But we do need to be aware of causing others to stumble, and as I said, the most important issue is our heart motive. Are we secretly searching for affirmation? My friends, do not seek affirmation from others, but from Him alone. That is where it matters.

Since the beginning of time, we humans have struggled with comparison, envy, and coveting. With the explosion of social media, this problem has continued to grow. It is the perfect breeding ground for discontentment with what we have, and the yearning for what others have. The truth is that the only thing we should be comparing to is Christ. He is our standard. When we look at others, we take our eyes off the Lord and our goals. We start to let others set our standards and not Him.

Our homeschools, our lesson plans, our curriculum, and our families all should be laid at His feet, and we should trust Him to guide us. He has called us to homeschool and He will see it through. He didn’t place this calling on our lives for us to do it in our own strength! He called us so that we can fully rely on Him.

Imagine the amount of time I spent comparing to others and comparing curriculum, when I could have been seeking God. I could have prayed and read my Bible and spent time at His feet! I wasn’t seeking Him, but I was seeking others. I was looking to the world for answers before I turned to Him.

Nothing worth doing is ever easy, and we don’t learn unless we work. You have the responsibility to help your children get through those difficulties.

The comparison trap is a serious issue. Not only are we comparing to others, we can also begin to covet. We are breaking a commandment when we look at someone else’s life or homeschool (or whatever it is) and want it for ourselves. Sometimes, we even secretly hope the other person fails because, in some warped way, it makes us feel better about ourselves. It is all sinful thinking. It can start as admiration and then quietly creep into envy, and before long you are rejecting what you have because you want what someone else has. That is sin, and we need to deal with that sin. When you compare your family to another family, you are telling God that you aren’t happy with the blessings He has given you in your family. You are saying He has given someone else something better than what He has given you. That is a path we should never travel.

A homeschool should never become an idol. Homeschooling is a lifestyle, but it is not our whole life. We don’t define ourselves by being homeschoolers but by being children of God. Our identity rests in Him.

Too often we become so consumed with our homeschool that we forget that we should be consumed by Him. Instead of filling up our homeschool with more books, games, gadgets, and decor, we should fill it with the love, joy, and peace that come from Him alone. We are teaching our children about Him every day through our homeschool.

I wanted the world to know we were homeschoolers…but did they know, most importantly, that we were disciples of Christ? That is where our true identity lies: not in what we do, but in who He is.

We are making disciples. Our homeschool is not a perfect picture, because it is a training ground for our children (which can get messy!) and that training ground begins with their hearts.

Are we idolizing academics? Or are we idolizing Him? Superior academics will not make superior disciples. That is not to say we can’t have both. We can. We need to focus on the discipleship part first, however.

Making disciples is my first and foremost job. If I start to focus on the academic part of homeschooling above the spiritual part, I am raising really knowledgeable kids, but not necessarily wise ones. God’s wisdom is far superior to any earthly knowledge. And while knowledge is important, it means nothing if I haven’t taught my children to love the Lord above all else. If they aren’t putting God first, when they grow up they will not be properly equipped for life, regardless of their SAT scores. Just remember: a degree from an Ivy League college does not make a disciple, yet a disciple can certainly have a degree from an Ivy League college. Make sense?

Our focus should be teaching our children that homeschooling is about lifelong learning and attaining godly wisdom.

I want them to remember that I taught them about God and who He is above all. I want them to know His ways and not the world’s ways. I want them to see He works in our lives regardless of the circumstances.