The Scrivener's Bones (Alcatraz, #2)

by Brandon Sanderson

What did it mean to be called “lord”? I’ll assume you’ve never had the honor, since I doubt any of you happen to be British royalty. (And if by chance you are, then let me say, “Hello, Your Majesty! Welcome to my stupid book. Can I borrow some cash?”)

Other days you need to dress like a green hamster and dance around in circles while people throw pomegranates at you. Don’t ask.