Re-Modeling the Mind: Personality in Balance

by Ruth A. Johnston

These facts may suggest that the baby’s brain comes with strong templates for trouble, rather than peace and happiness. Although the baby has an instinct to smile, his other possible ideas are pessimistic. Babies come into the world crying, after all. They begin to notice anger and fear long before they have felt these emotions in any real way. If the strongest template is for the possibility of danger and fear, then it would be in a sense the default setting. Unmodified, it would mature into general caution, fear and mistrust. The effect of secure comfort from the infant’s mother may be to help turn off the trouble sensors, allowing the baby to

feel that the world might be okay some of the time. During later years, as a toddler, the baby begins to learn the difference between a secure environment in which he can stop searching for trouble, and an insecure one that reverts to the trouble-searching patterns. An inborn trouble template could be part of the problems we see when attachment isn’t secure. Perhaps children who are not securely attached to their mothers are closer to a state of nature and make more use of their inner templates for anger and danger. Their worlds really are more dangerous, maybe not even because they’ve experienced danger. Their worlds are more dangerous because they haven’t experienced enough peace.

First, there is the idea of a mother. We’ve already suggested that babies have some innate potential idea of a mother, such that as they grow up, they can see sameness and difference between their particular, individual mother and the idea of a mother. We know that this ability to abstract the idea of “Mother” from a particular mother persists into adult life. It allows us to compare the mothers we see to an ideal, so that as adults we try to imitate the ideal, sometimes deliberately avoiding the actual mother models we have observed. The idea of a mother also seeps into emotional, philosophical and religious ideas around the world. One of the most common mythological ideas is that the earth is a mother to all living things. Then we give the physical earth the emotional attributes of a mother.

Another obvious one is the pairing of opposites, primarily male and female. (Jung called this the “syzygy,” which just means a pair of opposites.) Although individual men can come in many forms and types, around the world there is a general agreement on what’s “manly” in behavior and appearance.

We abstract the idea of “male” from men, and also the idea of “female” from women. As with the idea of mother, the abstract idea of a man or father can be transferred to other things. The sky as the “universal father” is one of the most common religious ideas. When the sky is envisioned as the father, the earth is always its opposite pair, the mother. The two ideas always go together. Male contrasts with female; they only have meaning when they’re in this opposite pair. This is the essence of the “possible idea,” the archetype of male and female. It’s universal around the world, both as applied to human beings and also as transferred to other concepts. The concept of God is another universal archetype. It can be blended with the archetype of father or mother, but it has its own meaning. The idea of God means a spirit existing outside of our time, with the ability to create and destroy. Even when folklore believes in many gods who aren’t much different from humans, there seems alway...

In logic, making an apology should be based on who is at fault, not whose feelings are hurt. Of course, in relationship situations, logical decisions can be far from appropriate. People who lean on Extroverted Thinking most of the time can find it very, very difficult to absorb the need to just apologize to make a relationship better. If they succeed at handling the problem, it’s probably by stepping out of Extroverted Thinking for a little while. Love isn’t about numbers or winning.

One values archetypes of formal roles and appearance, while the other tears those things aside in the search for archetypal hidden meaning. In typical personality balances, Perceiving functions can’t both be Introverted, so this conflict doesn’t usually happen inside one mind. It does, however, show up frequently between different personalities.

logic, and it’s still interested in figuring out how much power and authority you have. But it’s no longer organized around an ideal of propriety. Instead, Thinking’s attention is directed to hidden meanings. Intuition was born feeling that it just knows what the world means, and it also believes that most people miss the point and waste their time. When this personality talks to you, it’s sizing up your wisdom. You may be asked to suggest some connections between facts, and if you have some experiences that are new, you will be quizzed in a friendly way until the Thinking mind has absorbed what you have to say, so that Intuition can chew it over.

Intuition likes to make internal sarcastic comments to Thinking, as a way of competing with the world behind its back.

They both leave people with an impression that they’re not saying everything they’re thinking, which is true. Both have a tendency to be sarcastic when they think someone else is in the wrong. The sarcasm comes from the sense of knowing how things are connected, and feeling like others surely must know it, too; it also comes from a strong sense of alienation and being different. Even in childhood, people like this know they see things in a different, minority way, and they often find that other people think they’re wrong. They feel—in fact they know with stubborn certainty—that they aren’t wrong. Most people with this personality balance can tell stories about being proved right over time. They learn to expect this cycle of being rejected and proving right; sarcastic comments anticipate “here we go again.” (It isn’t actually true that they are always right, but they prove right just often enough to confirm the feeling.)

The Thinking version of the personality can become somewhat distanced from people. Relating to the outside world mainly through logic and numbers, this personality focuses on learning skills to get better and better at being right. When Introverted Intuition and pragmatic Thinking work together, the result is the Scientific Method. In this method, you make an educated guess about what’s going to happen or what’s really true, and then you design an experiment to test if you’re right. Really good experiments use rigorous logic to consider all possible options, and the most brilliant experiments use some creative thinking to come up with an outlandish way to actually test these things. And that’s basically how this personality thinks, by nature. They tend to become very hurt if people question their accuracy or abilities. If the hurt happens in early years, they can lose confidence profoundly and may always maintain a little distance with other people.

One of the ENTJ’s highest values is autonomy. He doesn’t want anyone to tell him what to do, and this rule runs deep and wide. Autonomy is key to understanding why ENTJs want to be in powerful positions without first climbing the ladder of dutiful subordinate positions. Many of them are not really thirsting for power over other people, but they seriously resent being responsible for other people’s mistakes. Ideally, they want autonomy for everyone, but when someone else’s choices may ruin and limit the ENTJ’s autonomy, his attitude is, “Okay then, just

hand me the keys. I’ll take over to make sure it’s done right.” ENTJ children experience frustration on a daily basis, because as powerless dependents, they have little control over any aspect of life. They argue fearlessly and deeply resent punishment. If they are shown logically that they are incorrect, they may be able to accept this, but without logic, they will never accept a power play. Some ENTJs are angry, oppositional children, while others find ways to win autonomy by earning money or seeking leadership. Some ENTJs are struggling students during childhood. Their kind of intelligence is not well measured by the hourly tasks of school, which may strike them as pointless. Their ability to think in long spans of time, years ahead, usually doesn’t do much good until they enter their teens. Some ENTJs find that they don’t do well in school until they reach a level of specialty studies, such as law or business, that is a natural fit with their strategic thinking.

Introverted Feeling is the fourth function and the root of conscience. Many ENTJs can go long periods of time, especially early in life, without noticing that they have a relationship-oriented warm conscience. Strategy and competition settle most questions of behavior, and they may only notice Feeling in music appreciation or books (some ENTJs even like poetry).

But eventually, dating, marriage and children frame a set of decisions and values that aren’t competitive. Warm conscience in family life prompts them to give up advantages to help those who are younger, weaker or just emotionally dependent. Most ENTJs are happiest when they can maintain private family zones of close, warm relationships with no strategic

or power struggles. Happy family life may even bring out Introverted Fe...

The ENTJ is rarely confident about matters of the heart. Falling in love is frightening because it entails the loss of control, perhaps even of autonomy.

If he’s at a stage of life when he is highly focused on mastery of skills, his Intuition and Thinking may be taking up so much brain space that he can mainly evaluate people as potential rivals or allies. An

It’s even harder for an ENTJ woman to find love, since the personality fits better in a male archetype. ENTJ women may come across as too dominant and competitive for the men they date. They may be most likely to find lasting love with a philosophical, literary man whose self-imposed goals aren’t threatened by the ENTJ’s career goals. England’s Queen Elizabeth I was probably an ENTJ; she knew she would lose some political power to a husband, even if she was still Queen in name, so she chose to remain single. Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher, on the other hand, found a quiet, unassuming man who didn’t mind his comparatively low profile as she climbed in politics.

It’s important for an ENTJ to pay some attention to non-competitive sides of life, especially as he grows older. ENTJs aren’t likely to go to talk therapy, but they can at least deliberately stop and think about mistakes

they have made in the past and consider the emotional reasons. Spending time with children is a natural way to exercise Introverted Feeling (and Extroverted Sensing). Reading romantic fiction may help them connect with their latent romantic feelings, too. Of course, to most ENTJs, any romantic fiction that they read will have t...

INTJs have primary Introverted Intuition, one of the two types to have this mysterious “inner map” as a primary function. Because it is paired with Extroverted Thinking, their Intuition tends to explore the realms of what can be known, rather than what can be felt. Like any personality type, they can be found in a wide variety of professions, but science is the natural field of INTJs. The rules of laboratory procedure and scientific inquiry are based on the ways of thinking that come naturally to INTJs. Extroverted Thinking keeps all options open, ready for new evidence from facts and logic. Introverted Intuition remains confident that there are ways to test for connections while remaining properly skeptical about certainty. In everyday affairs, INTJs usually have a sharp sense of what is the correct decision or method, especially concerning themselves. They tend to make career plans early and can follow a long preparatory program without feeling a need to reassess their original plans. In addition to natural and laboratory sciences, they are drawn to law, economics and history.

A hallmark of the INTJ’s Film Noir response to the world is sarcasm.

eye always focused on Introverted Intuition, they see what’s wrong with the world quickly and in detail, but they know from experience that it isn’t likely that anyone will fix the problem or even listen to them. Sarcastic comments that take note of anomalies allow...

INTJ perfectionism can be a strength, but it can also turn against them. This is particularly true if the INTJ becomes focused on him or herself as the “lab experiment,” not on an outside object. Every human being discovers, over the years, that self-perfection is impossible, but INTJs are among the personality types slowest to give up. It is even worse for the INTJ if he or she was raised in an environment that did not build confidence. INTJs whose parents shared their values are most likely to have confidence that their efforts are good enough. INTJs who are raised in difficult families, or by parents who dislike the values of the INTJ type, may suffer from anxiety. They can see the intuitive ideal, but they can’t reach it. Their anxiety will be worse if they have learning disabilities to get in the way of academic perfection. It is always a challenge for them to relax and accept life as it is, not as it should be.

INTJs want to exercise strong dominance over their immediate surroundings and responsibilities. They are not usually comfortable with managing other people, and they rarely like to manage a large department.

one thing, a larger zone of dominance waters down how much the INTJ can enforce the same high standards that he has for his own work. It’s much easier to maintain precision and accuracy when the INTJ can control only what he does with his own hands and in his immediate area...

The first response is harsh and critical because it’s directed at someone in authority, but then the real person (not just the role) becomes more visible, which requires mercy. INTJs are much less comfortable criticizing fallible human beings than institutions and appearances.

Introverted Sensing is the INFP’s third function. It’s particularly important because it blurs with Intuition’s imagination, making it an adjunct of the INFP’s main way of relating to the world. When Introverted Sensing blends thoroughly with Extroverted Intuition, the world becomes animated like a Disney movie. Introverted Feeling colors it with emotional idealism, so that every object has a personal life of its own. Living and non-living are not distinct categories, as they are for most other people. Many INFPs struggle with a confused sense of compassion toward worn-out things in the trash, while INFP children may grieve deeply over a broken toy.

Introverted Sensing also brings in both romanticism and symbolism. INFPs are invariably and strongly drawn to historical archetypes like princesses, knights, and heroes. They read and write about these things, but the fascination may run into external life, with costumes, re-enacting, or a touch of romanticism in daily dress. Symbolism is a normal way of thinking, since things seem somewhat alive already. Of course, things stand for or in some sense already inhabit layers of other meanings. INFP poetry and other writing is strongly centered around figurative speech, partly because it’s not merely words to them. But even when they’re dealing only with words as sound or spelling, INFPs are innately attached. They have a natural gift for foreign language partly because words seem alive and colorful. J. R. R. Tolkien, an INFP writer whose main career was in languages, chose which languages to study based only on the way their visual surface appealed to him (he loved the look of Finnish and Welsh).

Houdini had difficulty with emotional processing. Houdini remained so deeply attached to his mother that when she died at a ripe old age, he was nearly incapacitated by grief. His brain’s organization may have invested so heavily in Perceiving that it left other areas somewhat isolated and under-connected. It’s a common pattern with people who appear gifted in multiple areas; the brain can’t be super-connected in all areas, so unusual gifting in one area means a loss in another.

Similarly, unconventional or chaotic families may have a different effect on children whose Perceiving template is Introverted Sensing or Introverted Intuition. Children with Introverted Sensing may respond by seeking safety in physical order and tradition, for example, becoming compulsive about cleanliness and neatness. Those with Introverted Intuition might respond by withdrawing from the

Sensing world as much as possible, retreating into the mind to understand what’s safe. Additionally, stressful situations usually

Introverted Sensing is also supposed to be balanced by either Thinking or Feeling in its Extroverted form. If Introverted Sensing is completely overwhelming this too, the personality may sink into anxiety and withdrawal from society. The parts that are supposed to be confident, outgoing and practical are drowned out by incessant note-taking of what’s wrong: things don’t look right, people are acting strange, and we’re on the edge of danger. An over-active Introverted Sensing might look like compulsive or obsessive behavior. Where true OCD causes compulsive, meaningless actions like re-washing hands too many times, the compulsive negative observation of Introverted Sensing remains basically meaningful, but overblown. The person expects the worst, flinches from change, and finds nothing good enough. Introverted Intuition can also be a top function, though in a small number of personalities. When an INTJ or INFJ sinks into too much use of Introverted Intuition, there is a similar look of obsessive and compulsive thinking. In each personality balance, Extroverted Sensing is supposed to be balancing Intuition, and so is an Extroverted form of Thinking or Feeling. If Introverted Intuition is out of balance, it loses sight of opportunity, possibility and optimism. It knows only that there may be some hidden danger. Finding this hidden danger means studying and pondering, carefully examining all sides of some situation. Every appearance is mistrusted as a false front or mask. Intr...

vicious cycle has Introverted Intuition questioning absolutely everything, including obvious facts and even reality itself.

By the time Cody was in high school, he did only enough homework to get by. He was bright enough to keep his grades up at first, but by late high school, there were problems. Cody didn’t seem to notice; he was impatient if anyone tried to talk to him about school. He had joined an online games team and spent most of his evenings (and well into the night) on “TeamSpeak,” discussing skills and strategy. After he graduated from high school, he tried to go to college, but he didn’t pay much attention to his class schedule. He completely forgot to attend one of the classes, and for the others, he forgot about half the time. Eventually he had to go home.

Extroverted Sensing and Feeling are the optimistic, expansive, can-do sides of her personality. When she’s at work, Extroverted Feeling is still active because she is in a group of people. It’s when she is alone at home, or with just her family, that the negative, critical, worrying Introverted voting block takes over. Her natural Introverted parts of Thinking and Intuition are joined by the unnatural one, Sensing, which is still on duty from a day of teaching. With three mental functions scanning life for flaws and dangers, she is overwhelmed with anxiety.