Collaborative Intelligence: Thinking with People Who Think Differently

by Dawna Markova

Receiving Feedback • You are naturally affected deeply by tone of voice. Harsh or critical phrases can echo in your mind for years. Therefore, whenever possible, feedback (particularly negative feedback) should be written rather than spoken, and you should be allowed to respond in writing as well.

Dealing with Conflict • If someone comes at you with a problem or conflict, suggest that he or she write to you; add that you will respond in writing by a certain predetermined date. • If you find yourself stewing internally over an issue with someone, send an email or write a note that goes something like this: “I am imagining ‘X.’ Is that true?”

Let people know that the most effective support for you begins with doing something together, out in nature if possible. This is where your natural leadership style emerges.

Let others know you need some space when you withdraw and that they shouldn’t prod verbally.

You tend to navigate through life by asking endless questions, looking for possibilities, and living out the answers.

Most Effective Way to Relax • You generally relax by taking long, slow walks alone; wondering; listening to mellow music; and staring out the window; or having a massage with background music.

Enhance Your Physical Well-Being • You may have a tendency to overdo active physical exercise. Try to balance it with more receptive physical activity (like yoga, stretching, and massage). •

COLLECTING

SEEKING EXCELLENCE

THINKING LOGICALLY

INNOVATION

When you’re stuck, ask yourself: “What are all the possible ways I could make this work?”

It may be challenging to follow standardized ways of doing things, because you tend to quickly lose interest if something’s not new.

Challenge yourself to continue to find new ways of doing things to keep things interesting.

LOVE OF LEARNING

Explore new things. The process of continual learning energizes you.

Share what you’ve been learning with others. Volunteer to lead discussion groups or presentations.

LOVING IDEAS

Try not to let your self-worth suffer when others do not give you the recognition you deserve.

• Understand that your truest recognition must come from within. If you expect recognition only from external sources, you may grow resentful. Find ways to acknowledge yourself for your contributions, your effort, and your energy.

EQUALIZING

Understand that it’s not always possible to be fair and that this can be very challenging for you.

FOCUSING

BELIEVING

CONNECTION

Be a connector of people: “You have to meet so and so.”

MENTORING

Find formal and informal opportunities to mentor someone. • Volunteer to give praise and recognition to others.

STORYTELLING

Help others to make their presentations to teams, bosses, and/or clients more engaging through storytelling.

THINKING ALONE

To the Possibilists who have come before us, who stand next to us, and who will follow us