Year of Yes: How to Dance It Out, Stand In the Sun and Be Your Own Person

by Shonda Rhimes

Sometimes a broke woman needs the red wine more.

Not sure what this means lol. Olivia Pope? That’s a character right?

The story is the track and you gotta keep laying it down because of the train. That train is production. You keep writing, you keep laying track down, no matter what, because the train of production is coming toward you—no matter what. Every eight days, the crew needs to begin to prepare a new episode—find locations, build sets, design costumes, find props, plan shots. And every eight days after that, the crew needs to film a new episode. Every eight days. Eight days to prep. Eight days to shoot. Eight days, eight days, eight days, eight days. Which means every eight days, that crew needs a brand-new script. And my job is to damn well provide them with one. Every. Eight. Days. That train of production is a’coming. Every eight days that crew on that soundstage better have something to shoot. Because the worst thing you can do is halt or derail production and cost the studio hundreds of thousands of dollars while everyone waits. That is how you go from being a TV writer to being a failed TV writer.

Super interesting behind the scenes stuff

May be a question for this part could be what is your greatest fear? Mine has always been a fear of open water but I think that will probably change in time after I go scuba diving or something

Comparing Chandra Rimes to our other authors that we read, which has been your favorite so far? I’m really liking Chandra right now especially with the behind the scenes of TV and her thought process, it’s super interesting.

I think that the solar system analogy is really interesting and I can kind of relate to a little bit. My younger sister is about seven years younger than I am which might not seem like it’s a huge gap but it is a little odd because she’s starting high school right now and I’ve already graduated college. Anyway, my thought process here was to ask if anyone has any siblings with this kind of age gap? Or just any sibling relationships that feel kind of distant because that could apply here too

OK so I’m definitely more inclined to say to say yes to things. I don’t know if that’s just the people pleaser part of me. Actually I do know it is the people pleaser part of me there really is no way around it I love to people please. So I feel like her saying all of this is kind of coming from the perspective of someone who you know has a taste of fame. Because I wouldn’t necessarily call Shonda Rhimes a celebrity. At least not a Beyoncé like she was comparing lol. But enough to where she feels the need to say no to almost everything. But I could also be some stemming from something else

I can make any story good. I can take the lamest tale and make it compelling. The thing is, a good story is not about purposely lying. The best stories are true. Giving good story just requires that I . . . leave out the untidy bits.

We all kind of shit is that it’s at a Christmas dinner or even just telling a story to my friends we all kind of embellish to make it sound better than it is. How often do you do this?

I definitely do feel like this before some thing like a date or a party that I necessarily might not want to be going to though. I like to come up with some sort of excuse that we get me to leave early or whatever. Or have some sort of back up plan. But I don’t think I really saying no to a lot of things.

It’s at this point where I kind of realize that this is less of a self-help book and more of an autobiography. Which kind of makes me like it more. Her writing style is really kind of fresh and just feels like she’s having a conversation with you which is really nice. It feels different compared to some of the other self-help books where I felt like they were trying to impart some sort of wisdom upon you. Let’s just feels like she’s telling a story about herself and there’s no pressure to react to it a certain way.

This kind of made me think of how critics become critics. Like do they become really successful as TV writers and then just magically become critics? Or are they just people who have had really good opinions about TV? Actually I think it’s more of a journalist thing like they have journalism degrees and then go on to write about TV and movies or books or whatever. I don’t know does anyone have an answer for this?

I also have a massive fear of talking in front of people like in presentation settings. I absolutely hate it so I totally get this. This is also the point where I googled what Shonda Rhimes looks like and realize that she also did Bridgerton. I haven’t watched Grey’s Anatomy or scandal, I did watch a little bit of how to get away with murder and I liked it but I loved Bridgerton. So now I kind of feel a little bit of a connection with her. And I feel like that’s kind of important for reading her story because she’s kind of supposed to feel like you idolize her and I think up until this point, up until the point where I realize that she wrote Bridgerton ( not the books, the show ) I wasn’t necessarily idolizing her. Now I’m idolizing her a little bit. May be a good question for this would be which Shonda Rhimes show have you seen and enjoyed the most?

OK for some reason I don’t think I ever realized the Jimmy Kimmel was actually live. I just kind of figured that he was like all the rest of the late night hosts and filmed at like two on a Tuesday but I guess he’s live? Has anyone ever been on a late night show like this? I would love to be in the audience but I think I would also like pee my pants if I was brought up on stage or made to participate in the show in any way at all

I think maybe this book isn’t necessarily about saying yes to everything. Like she’s not trying to convince us to do our own Europe yes, but maybe she’s just trying to convince people to step out of their comfort zone. Because this is stepping out of her comfort zone saying yes to everything. But for someone like me who pretty much already does say yes to everything that I don’t need to say yes to, this would be right in my comfort zone. So I feel like this book is definitely trying to dare you to do something a little different than you normally would

I think the main difference between this book and the other books is that it’s an autobiography. None of the other books have really felt like this before. Sure the defining decade one kind of felt like the author was telling a story about themselves and about their clients but it didn’t really feel as personal as this one does.

Cristina has learned what she needs to know. Her toolbox is full. She has learned to not let go of the pieces of herself that she needs in order to be what someone else wants. She’s learned not to compromise. She’s learned not to settle. She’s learned, as difficult as it is, how to be her own sun.

I really like this phrase how to be her own son. I think that’s really what everyone should strive to be to be enough for themselves.

I don’t think I ever really put it together that they were really big competition. But I guess it makes sense. And I think I definitely like Jimmy Kimmel better than Jimmy Fallon. But Conan reins superior over both so it’s fine

I LOVE this and definitely want to try it. How many of you find it difficult to take compliments?

You have to know when in the conversation you are going to say no. You have to know when you are going to say, “That doesn’t work for me.” You have to know when to say, “I’m done.” You have to know when to say, “This isn’t worth it.” “You aren’t worth it.”

This is something I have to work on for myself. Saying yes I have no issue with but saying no I have such a hard time

Have you ever had to cut anyone out of your life like this? Might be too personal. I definitely had an issue with saying yes as a child to my “friends” asking to borrow money. Like it was a problem