Before (After, #5)

by Anna Todd

Tessa leans into her bestie and whispers something to him. Bestie is such a stupid word, but I bet these two dweebs use it.

YOU just used it

He was completely alone with his only friend. The bottle of scotch was nearly empty; it mirored him in that way.

Mirrored?

Anal-compulsive asshat.

.... anal-retentive?

I personally think scotch is just a tad pretentious and was disappointed to find out that it’s the only whiskey that comes from Scotland.

No it isn't????

She doesn’t know who she’s trying to help. She needs to understand that I’m not fixable and she’s wasting her time here. She needs to leave and never speak to me again.

Definitely would have been a shorter series

“You think I’m a bad person?”

Yes.

“Yes.”

Good.

I’m not that bad of a person, am I? I could be better, for her, if she asked me to. I look at her, taking in the way her lips are trembling, waiting for me to finish my jumbled thought. I want to be good, I want her to think I’m good.

What kind of Freudian shit is this

I have to be careful with this, because if my mystery disappears, she will, too.

If only

I love that she has so much left of her to be claimed.

:(

When Tessa nods her head, I gently place my hand over hers. My hands are so much larger than hers that her fingertips barely pass my knuckles.

WHAT

I can’t tell if she’s upset or jealous or curious. Sometimes I can read her like a book, and other times the book is shut.

Then surely you mean you can read her like an OPEN book

Her skin is so soft and tastes of vanilla. I could devour her entire body within seconds.

Yike

I sit up and watch her for a while, wondering how long she’s going to be mad at me and if I’m ever going to be able to figure out how to be a good boyfriend.

Not long enough, and no

“Why did you drink tonight?” Tessa questions me. It seemed like a good idea. I was tense and miserable, and when I tried to come up with a clear thought, I failed. Liquor on my breath makes my confessions less important, less offensive. I can utter drunk ramblings, and if she’s appalled, I can deny the words tomorrow.

Dude

She asks me if I have anything else to insult her with, and I ask her to move in with me.

What segue

She’s so fucking sexual without even trying to be, and she has no idea how many women would kill to be her, to have her sexy curvy body.

YOU DON'T KNOW YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL

I palm her fleshy tits,

What a description

I deserve a shred of happiness while it lasts, don’t I?

No.

part three AFTER

Heck no we've already done After

Zed

Oh no

Washington is very different from where I grew up in Florida, but colleges seem to be the same everywhere you go.

Honestly of course Zed is from Florida

Landon

Have to highlight this shit again so I know who's talking

The city’s chilly in September, but there’s barely any rain compared to Washington. So that’s something, at least.

I feel like we can add New York to the list of places Anna Todd has never been

and some mystery greenish flavor that I think is some gluten-free all-natural localvore thing.

..... locavore?

She’s mastering taking customers’ orders this week, and will likely be making the drinks next.

Yeah that's literally all it takes to be a barista sooooo

She smiles, taking the cookie from my hand and eating half of it before I even manage to get the lid back on the bin.

Sorry, that was the Landon chapter?? He works his shift at a cafe??????

Christian

Ughhhh

Kim fell asleep talking to her about me and my accent, telling our little girl that she will have the most adorable voice, a mixture of Mummy’s sweet tones and Daddy’s devilish accent. “Devilish,” she called it.

Calm down, he's only English

I’ve now expanded my investments in restaurants from Washington to New York to Los Angeles, but it’s nothing compared to the joy of getting to see this girl grow up before my eyes, something I’ve not been fortunate enough to have done with my other children.

What about Smith? How many other children are there???

“It’s too common,” I’d interjected before Ken could say anything. “How about the name Hardin?” It was a name I had picked out for my first child while I was only a teen. As a little boy in Hampstead, I used to think I was going to write a great novel one day and the main character would be named Hardin. Not typical, but very convincing-sounding for old England.

IT IS NOT A NAME

rumors flew that he’d started snorting the devil’s candy while studying for his law exams.

The WHAT

It smells like flowers and a little bit like mint.

Why does everyone in this series smell like mint

She’s firecrackers and sunshine, but she’s also cool stone and steady waves.

I feel like waves are notoriously unsteady but okay

Smith

The five year old gets a chapter????

Hessa

Please just end

We wanted to keep the space light, having learned firsthand what a mistake—and subsequent pain—it was to assume one’s daughter wanted cotton-candy-pink walls. Those we painted before she was born. But as soon as Emery learned that she didn’t really like pink, it took us three afternoons and three coats of green to cover that damn color.

Of course, your daughter isn't like other girls either

The money from After went straight into an account for the kids. Well, after I bought Tessa a “please forgive me for being a fucking idiot repeatedly” gift. It was simple: a charm bracelet made of metal to replace her old one, which was made of yarn.

A hideous charm bracelet to replace the original hideous charm bracelet

Her chest looks amazing pushed up against the glass. The mirror on the wall there has to be one of the best things in this apartment.

Smoooooosh

I mean, Emery has had her share of tantrums, sure. Like when she threw a plant into a wall. But that wasn’t hard to deal with: I took her door off the hinges.

Oh big yikes

I dragged Tess and myself through hell and back, but here we are—After everything, we made it to our own version of heaven.

Omg does this mean the nightmare is over?? At 86%?????

Acknowledgments

YAAAAAS