The Happiness Hypothesis: Putting Ancient Wisdom to the Test of Modern Science

by Jonathan Haidt

Nobody knows how language evolved, but I find Dunbar’s speculation so fascinating that I love to tell people about it. It’s not good gossip—after all, you don’t know Dunbar—but if you are like me you have an urge to tell your friends about anything you learn that amazes or fascinates you, and this urge itself illustrates Dunbar’s point: We are motivated to pass on information to our friends; we even sometimes say, “I can’t keep it in, I have to tell somebody.” And when you do pass on a piece of juicy gossip, what happens? Your friend’s reciprocity reflex kicks in and she feels a slight pressure to return the favor. If she knows something about the person or event in question, she is likely to speak up: “Oh really? Well, I heard that he …” Gossip elicits gossip, and it enables us to keep track of everyone’s reputation without having to witness their good and bad deeds personally. Gossip creates a non-zero-sum game because it costs us nothing to give each other information, yet we both benefit by receiving information.