Fates and Furies

by Lauren Groff

CHOLLIE: You and me? Oh, no, we’re ancient friends. I’ve known you for so long. You don’t remember, but I met you in the city long ago. All the way back when Mathilde and you were an item. LANCELOT: [Long pause.] An item? Mathilde and Ariel? What? CHOLLIE: Was I not supposed to say that? Sorry. Oh, well, ancient history. You’ve been married a million years, doesn’t matter. Those canapés are breaking my willpower. Excuse me. [Chases off after a waiter with a tray.] LANCELOT: An item? ARIEL: Well. Yes. I thought you knew Mathilde and I . . . were involved. LANCELOT: Involved? ARIEL: If it helps, it was purely business. At least for her. LANCELOT: Business? You were a, I guess, a patron? Oh, I see! You mean at the gallery. When I was trying to act. Failing mostly. Yes, it’s true. You supported us financially then for years, thank god. Did I ever thank you? [Laughs with relief. ] ARIEL: No, well. I’d been her, ah, well, lover. Boyfriend. We’d had an arrangement. I’m sorry. This is awkward. I thought you and Mathilde had no secrets. Otherwise I wouldn’t have said a word. LANCELOT: We don’t. Have secrets. ARIEL: Of course. Oh, dear. If it helps, nothing has happened since. And she broke my heart. But I’m a million years beyond that. It doesn’t matter. LANCELOT: Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. ARIEL [Pausing for a very long time, getting more and more agitated.]: I should get back to— LANCELOT [Booming.]: Stay where you are. You have seen Mathilde naked? You have made l...