Anything: The Prayer That Unlocked My God and My Soul

by Jennie Allen

Even though the thousand problems in my soul had shifted toward one goal and one hope and I felt free, I had one new problem: life was getting hard, the pace was picking up, and I felt reluctant. I wrote this as I began this journey. Reluctance May 5, 2009 What if he actually told me what it is he wants me to do . . . and I don’t want to do it? We are in a vulnerable spot. We have told him we will do anything. Anything that he calls us to, we will do . . . anything. Go. Stay. Speak. Be quiet. Stand up. Sit down. Redeem children. Redeem dirty dishes. Something big. Something small. Anything drastic. Nothing fancy. Anything. That I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. (Philippians 3:10–11, emphasis added) I want to know Christ . . . Yes! And the power of his resurrection . . . Yes! And the fellowship of sharing in his suffering . . . um . . . maybe? Becoming like him in his death . . . not at all! Could I have Starbucks while I decide? And somehow to attain to the resurrection of the dead . . . big YES! Please, somehow, God save me! Some days I am willing and some days I feel reluctant. Maybe I could do whatever big or small things if he would help me . . . God, overcome me. Please.

I have felt like this many times in my walk with God and in my life. Am i doing enough should I do more what about if i become overwhelmed i want to do anything but what will i give up for total surrender to His glory and purpose. I want to be a beacon of light and blessings for Him and for others around me. I want God to be proud of me at the end of it all