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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Bruce Bryans
Read between
October 15 - October 15, 2022
The thing is, if a man doesn’t take you seriously then he may feel compelled to have a good time with you.
In cases like this, what a woman really requires are two things: a healthy amount of self-respect and a set of dating guidelines that will allow her to make tough, rational decisions as she navigates the treacherous territory of finding Mr. Right.
When a woman has strong personal boundaries when dealing with men she doesn’t make excuses because of a man’s handsomeness, status, wealth, race, background, promises, sexual chemistry, etc. She sticks to her guns and refuses to settle for dating situations that are a win-lose for her; win-lose meaning that the guy wins at her expense.
what these men do respect are women who have a zero tolerance policy for time wasting and being manipulated.
So what does this mean in a nutshell? It means that you shouldn’t be so eager to give up your family, friends, hobbies, dreams, and aspirations the minute a new guy expresses an interest in you. Why? Chances are, many of these things are what helped to attract him to you in the first place.
We only value the things that we’ve worked for. Therefore, if you always lead the interactions, you’re only making him lazy.
Dominating the initiation of contact has the potential to train a guy to become indifferent to you.
Letting a man dominate the initiation of contact is the only sure way you can gauge his level of interest. It’s akin to the concept I mention in my other dating books for women where I tell them to “let him lead.” Showing restraint on your part and letting him lead in this way ensures that you don’t waste your emotional energy worrying if he likes you or not. You’ll know without a shadow of a doubt based on how proactive he is about seeing you AND keeping in touch with you. It may seem trivial, but not dominating the initiation of contact is the surest way to filter a man’s desire to be with
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If you want guys to take you seriously, you must get them to pick up the phone and call you.
screen against such men by making it clear that if a man wants to see you, he’s going to have to do it the old-fashioned way – call you with concrete plans.
captivating conversations while out on dates, keeping in touch through the phone, and sending an “I love you!” through email would be the breakfast, lunch, and dinners of relationship communication. But text messages should be the sweet and salty snacks, the little communicative delights that keep you going in between the bigger meals.
If you want a guy to take you seriously, train him to communicate with you like an adult.
A man who refuses to call you will certainly not take the
steps necessary to commit to you in any way, shape, or form. Don’t waste your precious time on a guy who won’t escalate something as simple as his method of communication.
If you consistently promise people that you’re going to call, be someplace, do something, not do something, etc., and you never/rarely follow through…you’re a flake.
Do not speak negatively about your past relationships. Habitually bad mouthing your exes in front of men who barely know you won’t earn you their pity, it will only earn you their repulsion.
and how much initiative he makes to contact you (that last one is vitally important).
(By the way, this is one of the keys to winning with men: Be hard-to-have but easy-to-please.)
Because a man’s actions inform him of what’s important to him, he will recognize just how much you really mean to him through his effort.
Men are the gatekeepers of commitment, our highest card being marriage itself.
As long as a man can keep you confused with his mix of emotional detachment and unpredictable tenderness, he can get what he wants from you without ever (or rarely) having to give you what you want. You’ll be so busy thinking about what he wants, how to make him want you, and how to make him happy (so that he can want you), etc., that you’ll neglect to really consider whether or not he’s actually interested in making you happy. Read that paragraph again.
Don’t confuse the emotional high a man gives you with his level of interest. An emotionally confused woman is easy prey for players, a good time for time-wasters, and a ton of fun for the non-committal.
This is why you need to know what you’re willing and not willing to put up with before you invest your time in a guy. Having a set of rules or guidelines gives you standards that will allow you to make cold, rational, and what may feel like risky decisions when it comes to dating and relating with men. You won’t have to try to make excuses for any particular guy because you’ve decided to become a woman with boundaries. Interestingly, every time you walk away from a distasteful dating situation you make an investment in your self-respect.
Over time, these investments will naturally increase your self-confidence;
It’s important for a woman to understand that rejection, love loss, and bad timing are all a part of the dating journey.
If you become easily disheartened after a bad breakup or because you lost some guy’s interest, you may find that your attitude towards men may slowly change for the worse.
So as you go through trial and error in your search for a man who deserves your all, maintain a positive mental attitude.
Have faith that your Mr. Right is out there as well, and is probably going through just as much dating hell as you, if not more, in his quest to find you. When it comes to finding your Mr. McDreamy, your foundational attitude should be based on the reality that if one woman can find her Mr. Right and marry him, so can you.
The way a man treats you and the sacrifices he makes for you should be more than enough to help you decide if you’re being led by your insecurities or your intuition. Read those last two sentences again.
Date as if you believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that you truly deserve a man’s unconditional love. You must believe and therefore act like you are a prize worth pursuing by a high-quality man.
but I cannot stress enough how easy it is for a woman to drastically change her love life for the better by simply believing to the core of her being that she deserves to be shown unconditional love from a man and then act like this is true.
