The Upside of Stress: Why Stress Is Good for You and How to Get Good at It

by Kelly McGonigal

People who feel alone in their stress are more likely to become depressed and to rely on avoidant coping strategies, including denial, giving up on their goals, and trying to avoid stressful experiences.40 They are less likely to tell others about their stress and suffering, and so are less likely to receive the support they need. This makes them even more convinced that they are alone in their struggles. In contrast, people who understand that suffering is part of everyone’s life are happier, more resilient, and more satisfied with life. They are more open about their struggles and more likely to receive support from others.41 They are also more likely to find meaning in adversity and less likely to experience burnout at work.42 And yet, despite the benefits of recognizing common humanity, people often underestimate the stress in other people’s lives and overestimate other people’s happiness.43