It was exhausting to approach the goals in your life from a place of constant competition, always trying to impress others or prove yourself. It drained the joy out of work. It created conflict in relationships. It took a toll on health. And yet everyone there, like Crocker, thought this was the only way to succeed. The workshop leaders, however, had a different point of view. They argued that if you see yourself as part of something bigger—a team, an organization, a community, or a mission—it takes the toxicity out of striving. When your primary goal is to contribute to this “something
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