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November 28 - December 30, 2020
If there’s one thing we can say about upbringing and ambitions, it’s that there’s no clear correlation between your background and what you’re going to achieve in life.
According to the social learning theory, learning takes place in a social context. You can adapt new behaviors purely through observation2. If you have ever changed one of your behaviors because you observed it in your friends (say, you started wearing collared shirts on a daily basis because that’s how your friends dress), it’s social modeling at work.
news triggers your limbic system, almost as if you were constantly on the lookout for threats. This heightened state of awareness leads to chronic stress, a deregulated immune system, fear, and aggression.
People who surround you have a much stronger impact on your behavior, including whether you’re ambitious or avoid any challenges.
Studies show5 that observing people you view as similar to you improves your self-efficacy (the strength of the belief in your abilities,
I’m a huge fan of online communities like forums, membership sites and groups on social media sites. Since they are populated by people at all levels of competence, you can easily find people just a little better than you who will motivate you to raise your standards.
People who discourage you from setting big goals decrease your motivation more effectively than empowering people increase it.
British billionaire Richard Branson, when asked about his secret of productivity, gave a surprisingly simple answer: “Work out.7” It’s his physical wellness that keeps his brain sharp and his body ready to constantly travel all over the world, build new industry-changing businesses and solve some of the world’s biggest problems.
Perhaps it sounds cliché, but physical wellbeing is indeed one of the keys to success. If you don’t demand much from your body, how much more will you demand from yourself in other areas of your life? If your body doesn’t work on the highest level, how are you supposed to work on the big goals?
Poor people who struggle to get by can’t afford the luxury of high ambitions. It’s hard to think big when you’re not sure if you can pay the bills or afford to buy food this month. The constant fight to stay afloat robs you of the energy to think in the long term.
Low self-esteem – the feeling that you’re worse than other people – will lead you to self-sabotage.
If you feel inferior to others or you’re extremely shy, solving these problems is more important than learning how to become more ambitious.
3. Physical wellness is one of the keys of people who think big. If you don’t have enough energy, you won’t have enough motivation to put your plans into action. Demand from yourself the best – both physically and mentally.
Various studies show that money is not the best motivator, especially after a certain level of income.
In other words, people who focus on the job they perform are more engaged in it (i.e. more driven) than people who focus on the money they make from it.
When people want to make money because they want to keep up with the Joneses, have more power, show off, or overcome self-doubt, that’s when their well-being is affected negatively. If you want to make money to help your parents, take care of your family, or help those in need, it won’t affect your well-being negatively.
First and foremost, if you want to become more driven to realize your full potential, don’t focus on money as your sole motivation. Find a deeper reason why – your intrinsic motivation.
Your motivation can get even stronger when instead of thinking about something from which you’ll benefit, it will be someone else (usually your significant other or a family member).
If you’ve been trying to motivate yourself to work on a certain goal, write down your vision. If you’ve written it properly (meaning: it fires you up so much you’re restless), you should no longer struggle with procrastination.
When writing your vision, go into deep details of what you want to achieve. Describe not only the achievement itself, but also how it makes you feel and what kind of a person you’ve become while working on it. The more senses and perspectives the vision will contain, the more powerful it will be. Here’s an example of a weak sentence in a vision: I own a multi-million dollar business that is the leader in the industry. Here’s an example of how you can fix it: I own a multi-million dollar business that is known for the passion it brings to the market. It brings a smile to my face just to think
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There’s no way to make a permanent change to your body if you don’t change your mindset.
Big achievements are impossible without strong, internal motivation.
If you want to get fired up to work on your goals, discover a reason that comes from within you – not the pursuit of status or money.
When writing down your vision, make it as detailed as possible by using different senses and perspectives. It has to be so good that you can’t wait to act on your goals.
Even waking up earlier or losing weight, both of which can tremendously benefit you in the long term, will be considered by your chimp as threats. Discomfort is not your chimp’s friend, even if the human part of your brain knows how transformational short-term discomfort can be.
Reasoning with the logical part of your brain will help you reduce the emotion that causes fear and prevents you from taking action.
By making a list of possible outcomes and actions I could take to reduce my losses (say, closing a business if I lose more than 50% of the initial investment), I could once again reduce my fear.
Tony Robbins’ books Unlimited Power20 and Awaken the Giant Within21. You owe it to yourself to read these books.
Consider writing down your personal philosophy. You can do it by making a list of your most important truths in life that you’re going to follow no matter what.
I refuse an ordinary approach because I want to live an extraordinary life.
Abundance is all around me. Scarcity is the mindset of the poor.
However, there are two types of competitiveness. The first is positive and productive, which motivates you to strive for more, but not at the expense of others. The second is hypercompetitiveness, which is a “winning isn't everything; it’s the only thing” type of thinking.
The first effect is when you’re playing to win. This attitude improves your performance. The second effect is when you’re playing not to lose – it leads to decreased performance.
Consequently, the key to successfully using competitiveness to achieve more is to focus on winning, and not just trying not to be left behind.
If you’re working on a business, a local co-working space can be a good place to find potential partners or a whole team of people dedicated to achieving the same, big goal. Even if it’s just a short conversation by the coffee machine, it can be enough to defeat procrastination.
“I learned that the most successful entrepreneurs are those who find people who are at least as good as, or better than, they are at running their businesses27.”
If you want to transform your body, consider finding a workout buddy/buddies. Due to the Köhler effect, we try harder when we’re a part of the group and don’t want to be the weakest link.
your chances of reaching a big fitness goal are much higher if you complete each workout with a person who exercises with you.
Whenever you can surround yourself with a group of people who will keep you accountable, you’ll be much more likely to achieve better results and stick to your goals.
Watching violent television, movies, listening to violent music and playing violent video games increases aggression31. Again – sounds like an innocent way to entertain yourself, while in fact it messes up your brain.
In one study, children watching adults behaving aggressively toward a doll were more likely to be aggressive, while children watching adults behaving kindly toward a doll were more likely to be kind, too32. Adults aren’t that different from kids. Surround yourself with aggressive people, and you’ll be aggressive, too.
The famous quote by Jim Rohn, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with” turns out to be true.
Studies show that bad is stronger than good33 – we’re wired to focus more on the negative information than the positive. Consequently, the negative influence of other people and demotivating media does more harm to your motivation than surrounding yourself with successful individuals.
Watching less news (or ideally, not watching it at all) will reduce your anxiety levels and change your world view. In the world of mass media, only bad things happen in the world. Why strive for more if the world is such a bad place? It’s just one of many limiting beliefs mass media puts in your brain.
How are you supposed to work with burning motivation on the big things if your relatives or friends constantly poke fun at your ambitious goals?
If there’s one thing that is shared by every successful person, it is that they all hang out with other successful people. For a good reason – once you start thinking big, people who haven’t grown with you won’t be able to relate to you. It’s a price you need to pay for achievement – some relationships will weaken, while some will end.
If you don’t know how to focus, distractions will lead you in a different direction you might not necessarily want to take.
dissociate effort from reward.
Focus on the outcomes that you want and find the easiest way to them with least effort, least sacrifice, and most pleasure. Concentrate on what produces extraordinary results without extraordinary effort. Be efficient but relaxed. First, think results. Then get them with least energy.36”
Never mistake motion for action. A rocking horse moves, but I’ve yet to see a kid who has traveled anywhere on it.
