Before I tell the other person the truth, I need to get three green lights, a green light in answer to each of the following questions. First, “Do I need or want this relationship?” If I get a red light, meaning “no,” I don’t tell the person anything. If I get a green light, I proceed to the next question. Second, “Is my intention at this time to be helpful to this person and not to punish them?” If I get a red light, I don’t tell the person anything. If I get a green light, I proceed to the last question. Third, “Can I handle the worst realistic outcome of this confrontation?”
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