I don’t think there’s any question that while also serving to keep existing power structures in place, the rules punish both men and women. And it’s not just men who discourage integration and enforce the rules; it’s the women, too. While there are many women fighting for a different way of life, there is still a powerful core group of sisters who have pledged their allegiance to a system where tender and tough are so driven apart from their natural coexistence that each one metastasizes into a dangerous version of itself. Tender turns into ass kissing and people pleasing. Tough turns into
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