“I cannot defend the contradictions in my position. I see no way whatever to reconcile my duty and my personal obligations, and heaven knows how this will end. You are quite right about that, and I have no answer. And furthermore, I know damned well that I have more power than Silas in the world outside. He wouldn’t let me forget it, even if I was inclined to. So…I give him the truth. I don’t ask for his; I give him mine.” The shames, the fears, the desires. He stared into the fire. “I have made myself vulnerable to him, I have put my soul in his hands, and he has cherished it. I wish you’d
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