Center Ice

by Cate Cameron

My imagination couldn’t change reality. I couldn’t go to the past. I was stuck in the present. And I wasn’t sure how the hell I was going to get through the future.

“Tyler MacDonald, squirrel tamer and chauffeur from Hell.” I wiped my palm as subtly as I could on the skirt of my dress, then shook his hand. “Karen Webber. Damsel in distress, apparently.” And for the first time in quite a while, I meant it when I smiled at him and said, “It’s nice to meet you.”

I was supposed to be confident and popular and outgoing, not a crowd-phobic recluse.

We just hung out, swimming and lying in the sun and talking about stupid stuff. I got a lot better at knowing when she was about to get uncomfortable, and she started to loosen up a little, like she was trusting me to not push in somewhere that was none of my business.

I recognized a few of the faces and had a sudden urge to keep driving. We could just keep going, maybe circle around and go back to the lake. We could live on wild strawberries and fish, and maybe sleep in the truck, or build a shack on the beach…

Every time I woke up, I lost her again, and it took me a while to adjust.

Being with Karen made me feel good, and that was what I needed right then.

He really did seem like a decent guy. And a total slut who used girls like they were toys. I had no idea what to do with the contradiction.

If I didn’t make the NHL, I’d have nothing to show for the last fifteen years.

In the awkward silence, I tried to figure out whether pretending to be in love with your best friend was homophobic.

His strength made me feel weak, but when I touched him and I saw how he reacted, I knew I was powerful.

“Hey, Brett,” I said casually. He looked at me, a quick, oily smile on his face and it felt really good to say, “You’re fired. Stay away from me, and stay the fuck away from my girlfriend.”

She said that for most people there came a time when they could think about a lost loved one and focus on the love and shared happiness of the past, rather than the pain. But she also said it took a long time to get to that stage.

We were running through the forest, and every root we jumped over, every hill we fought to climb, they all made us stronger. They made us better.