Not What I Expected: Help and Hope for Parents of Atypical Children

by Rita Eichenstein

Jaak Panksepp, in his seminal book on neuroscience, The Archaeology of Mind, discusses different systems of behavior that are common to all mammals. This type of bargaining behavior in parents best fits what Panksepp calls the seeking system: “[This system] allows animals to search for, find, and acquire all of the resources that are needed for survival.”1 Not only does the seeking system help animals survive, it also feels good. Panksepp describes the “positive, enthused affect” that may accompany a seeking behavior, as well as the depression and despair that follows if whatever is being sought is not found. He concludes, “It is now clear that when the system crashes, following repeated frustrations, people will feel depressed.”