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The way I see it, there are three reasons never to be unhappy. First, you were born. This in itself is a remarkable achievement. Did you know that each time your father ejaculated (and frankly he did it quite a lot) he produced roughly 25 million spermatozoa—enough to repopulate Britain every two days or so? For you to have been born, not only did you have to be among the few batches of sperm that had even a theoretical chance of prospering—in itself quite a long shot—but you then had to win a race against 24,999,999 or so other wriggling contenders, all rushing to swim the English Channel of
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