Combating Cult Mind Control: The Guide to Protection, Rescue and Recovery from Destructive Cults

by Steven Hassan

Can you tell me the names of all the other organizations that are affiliated with your group?

If the recruiter tells you they don’t know, ask them to find out for you. Ask for their phone number—do not give them yours, of course—and say that you will call them tomorrow for the answer.

Who is the top leader? Tell me about their background and qualifications. Do they have a criminal record?

they may not know themselves. You might then ask the person, “How could you have become involved with a group without checking these things out first?”

What does your group believe? Does it believe that the ends justify the means? Is deception allowed in any circumstances?

Is your group considered controversial by anyone? If other people are critical of it, what are their main objections?

If you ask these questions politely and with a smile, the person may say, “Oh, some people think we’re a cult and that we’re all brainwashed. Isn’t that silly? Do I look brainwashed?” To that question you might respond, “So how are people supposed to look if they are brainwashed?” When I ask that question, the person I’m speaking to usually becomes very uncomfortable and, if I continue to probe, finds some excuse to leave.

What are the three things you like least about the group and its leader?

“Tell me three things that you don’t like about the group or the leader.” If you get an opportunity to catch a cult member off guard and ask that question, I suggest you watch their face very carefully. The pupils in their eyes will dilate, and they will act momentarily stunned. When they do answer, they will very likely say that there is nothing they can think of that they don’t like.

1) ask other members of the group the same questions, and see if you get consistent answers, and 2) research the group intensively online.

I do not recommend coercive deprogramming, and know of no reputable person who currently practices it.

When I counsel a cult member, I never try to take the group away from them—or to take them permanently away from the group. If I did, they would only feel threatened, and rightly so. Instead, I always look for ways for them to grow, by offering different perspectives and possibilities. I help people to see choices they didn’t know existed, then encourage them to do what they think is best for themselves.

Then I asked her, “Do you believe that God gave people free will, just so He could take it away through deception and mind control? Think about it: do you believe in a God who wants His children to be robots or, at the very best, slaves? If God wanted that, He never would have given Adam and Eve free will. Isn’t it a huge contradiction?”

Later that night, I talked with her for a few more hours, mostly trying to empower her. “You’ve got a good mind,” I told her. “You should use it.” I told her I knew she had always been an ethical person. Did she really believe that the ends justify the means?

No one can come out of a long-term experience like that without emotional problems, and she was no exception. Not all cases, though, are successful.

if the family isn’t willing to address its own problems and make an effort to change and grow, it will undermine any rescue effort, as well as the cult member’s potential exit and recovery.

One other common error is trying to argue the person out of their cult involvement by using a condescending, confrontational approach. This direct approach is doomed to failure. Rational argumentation is simply not effective with someone who has been indoctrinated through mind control. Add condescension or arrogance, and you are playing right into the cult recruiter’s hands.

The overall objective should be this: Do everything within your power to create the necessary conditions to help the cult member change and grow. Keep this objective in mind at all times when deciding what to do or say. Notice that your objective should not be rescuing the person from the group. People leave destructive cults as a natural consequence of changing and growing.

It is vital to recognize that the only way to get people permanently out of destructive cults is to help them get back in touch with their real selves.

three short-term objectives: The first is building rapport and trust. Without trust, nothing you do will be effective. The second is gathering information about how the cult member thinks, feels, and views reality. The third is planting seeds of doubt about the cult and promoting a new perspective.

When you first become aware that someone you care about is a cult member, act as though you don’t know they are in a cult—unless,

Ask the member what you can do to better understand them or build your relationship with them. Ask them to be specific. Try your best to accommodate their needs,

Remember, though, that in every cult member, there is a war between their cult identity and their real identity. At any time, you may actually see the person switch back and forth.

I told him that any group that told its members not to think, but rather to obey their leaders blindly, was dangerous. I told him that any organization that told members not to talk to former members or read critical information was exercising information control—an essential component of mind control.

Another valuable perspective can also be that of the cult’s leader.

Most cult leaders lead opulent lives, while their followers live relatively poorly.

Each time the member is able to step out of his shoes and into the shoes of another—whether a member of a different group, or even his parents or his leader—he is weakening his psychological rigidity. Indeed, encouraging a cult member psychologically to take another perspective enables him to test his reality.

The way to undo blind faith is to introduce new perspectives.

I often ask cult members, “If you had never met this group, and you were doing exactly what you wanted to be doing, what would that be?”

Once the person verbalizes the fantasy, I try to persuade them to step inside their visualization of a new life, and become emotionally involved in it.

I realized that the higher I rose in the organization, and the closer I got to Moon, the more obsessed I became. Power had become almost an addiction, and I began making choices based on what would protect and enhance my power, not on what was morally right.

However, if these people never come to understand mind control and how it was used to recruit and indoctrinate them, in my opinion, they will never be able to live as full a life as they might. These people may have temporarily managed to put their cult experience on a shelf and forget about it. At some point, though, it could burst back into their lives.

If the person’s family and friends did not understand mind control and cult psychology it undermines a smooth recovery. Some people are encouraged way too fast to find a job or embark on a career.

It is unethical for a therapist who is not trained in addictions to be in charge of treating someone with an addiction. Similarly, an otherwise-talented therapist, who is largely clueless about undue influence, should not counsel ex-cult members.

The most common is depression, particularly during the first few months after leaving. It is difficult to describe the pain of realizing that you have been lied to and mentally enslaved—that your dream was really a nightmare. Many people who leave after decades of involvement have to face the lost years of missed opportunities.

Two realizations seem to help ex-cult members most: first, that some positive things came out of their involvement, and, second, that they now are (or can be) much stronger because of their experiences. It can also help to encourage them to put their experience in a manageable and hopeful perspective. There are almost always examples of people whose experience was much worse than their own, and who were able to thrive after exiting.

It creates a strong association in the individual’s unconscious, which without proper counseling can take months, sometimes years, to overcome. Music is used by many cults for indoctrination, because it forms a strong anchor for emotional states via memory.

For people who were long involved in a group that required excessive meditation, chanting, “decreeing,” speaking in tongues, or other mind-numbing practices, episodes of floating can occur for at least a year after they have left the cult.

Many of my clients have told me that suddenly, in the middle of a normal conversation, they would find themselves doing the mind-numbing technique they had practiced for years.

One former member of a Bible cult told me, “It’s very frustrating to realize over and over again that my mind is out of control. Particularly when I’m in a stressful situation, I’ll suddenly discover I’m babbling nonsense words and syllables (speaking in tongues) i...

When you start to float, simply but firmly remind yourself that the experience has been triggered by some stimulus, and that it will pass.

The most powerful and effective technique of all is to identify the trigger. It could be hearing a song, seeing someone who looks like a member of the group, or watching someone act or gesture in a way that cult members often do. Once you know what triggers you, deliberately call forth that stimulus, but make a new, positive mental association with it. Think of something non-cult related. Do this over and over again, until the association becomes a new, learned response.

Common nightmares for people who have lived with mind control include being trapped, feeling that people are coming after them, and being in the midst of a storm or a war.

Trust in yourself and learning to trust someone else, much less a group, is a really big deal for ex-cult members. Feeling your real feelings and learning how to express them in healthy ways is so important. Learning to respect yourself and your partner as a separate and individual human being is essential.

How to problem solve and share power is another essential issue. Some Christian cults put women under the control of men, and it can be difficult to unlearn such subservience.

One sensitive father of an ex-cult member said, “If someone gets hit by a truck, naturally you expect that it will take them time to recover. You wouldn’t expect them to get up out of bed, and go and get a job the next week, would you?” His daughter lived with him for her first year and a half away from the cult. He didn’t pressure her to move out or seek employment during that time. He recognized that she was doing the very best she could.

Perhaps most importantly, former cult members need to learn how to trust themselves again. They have to become their own best friend,

Eventually, as they learn to once again trust themselves and their own inherent wisdom and instincts, they also learn that it’s okay to begin trusting others. They realize that all groups are not evil. In fact, the good part of being involved with a healthy group—be it a religious, social or political—is that you can exercise control over your participation. You do not have to stay one minute longer than you want. Nor do you have to sit silently and blame yourself, if you don’t understand what is being said or done. You can question, and you can question some more.

They move from What is wrong with me? to How dare they do that to me! This is normal and healthy.

Eventually, when all their questions are answered, and all their cult issues are addressed, they reach a saturation point. They declare to themselves, “They’re not going to take the rest of my life!” and start making plans for the future.