How to Be an Imperfectionist: The New Way to Self-Acceptance, Fearless Living, and Freedom from Perfectionism

by Stephen Guise

If you’re insecure about something, know that there is someone out there who is living confidently and living well in spite of it.

If you see yourself as subpar, you’d have to be perfect just to seem average in your own eyes.

It’s easier to change your mind and emotions by taking action than it is to change your actions by trying to think and feel differently.

Care less about results. Care more about putting in the work. Care less about problems. Care more about making progress despite them. Or if you must fix something, focus on the solution. Care less about what other people think. Care more about who you want to be and what you want to do. Care less about doing it right. Care more about doing it at all. Care less about failure. Care more about success. Care less about timing. Care more about the task.

People with social anxiety care more about social interactions than anyone else does. They care so much about a social interaction going smoothly that they often avoid those situations altogether.

when they’re in social situations, they can’t act naturally because they’re so concerned about how they’re coming across,

Care less about results. Care more about putting in the work.

Care less about problems. Care more about making progress despite them. Or if you must fix something, focus on the solution.

Care less about what other people think. Care more about who you want to be a...

Care less about doing it right. Care more about ...

We get stuck when we feel like life is never enough: there’s not enough time in the day; we didn’t get enough sleep; we didn’t do enough this morning; there’s not enough money; or we’re not good enough for [unlimited reasons].

Is your cat funny?

Their identity comes from how well they do (as opposed to what they do and who they are)

A great substitute for “should have ___” is “could have ___.”

Make a mental note to flag anytime you think of what you “should” have done. When you catch yourself doing this, reevaluate the situation and replace it with “could.”

The Countdown Starter: When the timer runs out, you must start your task immediately.

The Decision Countdown: You must make a firm decision before the timer runs out!

The Focus Timer: For X minutes, you must focus on one task of choice (with strict rules for distractions).

one of whom said I had “balls of steel” and that I “must be really confident” to approach her on the Stairmaster in front of a couple dozen people at the gym.

Not confident, an absolute creep.

focusing on the process guarantees better results, while focusing on results distracts you from the process needed to obtain them.

If ruminating on a topic, remove “should have” from your mind and substitute “could have”

For social interactions, don’t use the movies as your benchmark. Real life interaction is not scripted and more awkward.

When you focus on doing things and counting that as an automatic success, you’ll make more progress in life and do so in a more relaxed manner.