How to Be an Imperfectionist: The New Way to Self-Acceptance, Fearless Living, and Freedom from Perfectionism

by Stephen Guise

When I was a teenager, I had terrible, terrible acne. One kid teased me about my “beard” because of the number of pimples on my chin (he was a wonderful, upstanding gentleman). I was the fifth most self-conscious person on Earth because of it. Later in my life when my skin had cleared up, I met some people with severe acne who were absolutely confident and comfortable with themselves, and it blew my mind. It showed me that I didn’t have to be insecure just because I had a highly visible flaw. There was no rule saying I had to be self-conscious because my skin wasn’t perfect. If you’re insecure about something, know that there is someone out there who is living confidently and living well in spite of it. That’s comforting and empowering.

For most levels of Super Mario Bros., you go at your own pace, and they allow you to travel backward if you wish, but a select few levels automatically scroll forward, and if you don’t actively move with the camera, the edge of the screen will push you off a ledge or crush your body against a pipe. Life is like this second style of auto scrolling, in that if you don’t continue to move forward (like if you’re ruminating about the past), you’re going to face trouble.

Self-punishment doesn’t atone for things you’ve done or make the situation better.

You’re allowed to make mistakes—even horrific ones—because you’re human.

Monitor your self-talk. If you find yourself thinking in terms of “should have,” rephrase it to “could have” to evoke a sense of possibility instead of judgment.

“Enough” is one of the most anti-perfectionist concepts in the world.

Don’t seek approval from others or you’ll never have approval from yourself. This is easier said than done.

Imperfectionists are perfectionists in a unique way. Instead of expecting perfect results, the imperfectionist expects perfect progress and consistency.

Trial and error is the time-tested way to improve something.

Part of imperfectionism is being kind to and patient with yourself.