How to Be an Imperfectionist: The New Way to Self-Acceptance, Fearless Living, and Freedom from Perfectionism
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Perfectionism makes you stay home, not take chances, and procrastinate on projects; it makes you think your life is worse than it is; it keeps you from being yourself; it stresses you out; it tells you that good is bad; and it ignores the natural way in which things work.
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it’s not the literal consequences of failure that scare us; it’s the idea that we could fail at something we desire greatly.
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it’s always best to begin where things are, not where you wish they were.
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(perfectionism, not a lack of ideas, is the one and only cause of writer’s block),
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Weight lifting breaks down muscle fiber in much the same way that we’re “broken down” when we fail or go through an uncomfortable experience. And just as a muscle is built back stronger, so are we as a result of the lessons we learn by attempting something and failing.
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We try to come up with an excuse for every stumble instead of simply accepting that we stumble sometimes and can get back up.
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The main point here is that action itself is the best starting point for more action, while trying to think your way into more motivation is an unreliable and ineffective way to create forward momentum.
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When you treat how you feel as the deciding factor of what you do, you will be a slave to it. You will try so many motivational techniques, but in the end, your results will be as unreliable as your feelings.
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People who have successfully changed their lives have figured out that when you start doing something, your emotions follow suit.
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Never forget this: It’s easier to change your mind and emotions by taking action than it is to change your actions by trying to think and feel differently.
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habits decrease emotion.
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Perfectionism is the artificial construct that constricts, rigidifies, and conforms behavior to an unreasonable standard.
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Imperfectionism is NOT laziness, low standards, contentment with failure, disinterest in excellence and improvement, or apathy. At its core, imperfectionism is pursuing and doing good things in life without so much as hoping for (let alone expecting) perfection. It’s prioritizing doing over doing well. This doesn’t rule out doing things well; it only takes away the crippling fear of not doing well.
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Embracing imperfection will bring you closer to perfection than a perfectionist mindset will.
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Perfectionism doesn’t work because it’s based on the (ironically) flawed notion that great things happen all at once on the first try.
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The primary benefits of becoming an imperfectionist are reduced stress and greater results by taking positive action in more situations. The more fearless, confident, and free a person is, the more they embrace imperfection in their life.
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effort over perfection.
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When you’re wrestling with perfectionism and procrastination, challenge yourself to “try and see what happens.”
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In general, the idea behind imperfectionism is to not care so much about conditions or results, and care more about what you can do right now to move forward with your identity and your life.
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The point of doing things is simply to do them!
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Whatever you want to do more of in life—exercise, write, read, swim, dance, sing, laugh, and so on—lower the bar for doing it. If you are willing to do it in the sewer, you will never fail to do it again.
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If something is important to you, it should be your goal to make it casual—not special—because habits are casual.
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when you care less about any result of a process, it makes the process itself easier.
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Perfectionists use their desire for positive results to motivate them to go through the process. Imperfectionists focus on the process and let the results take care of themselves.
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The procedural thinker doesn’t focus on exercise yet because that’s not where the process begins. Difficult processes become easier with “one step at a time” thinking; they are made nearly impossible by looking ahead.
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Focus on the process. It’s the single best way to change your circumstances.
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Rumination is a desperate, futile attempt to change the past by thinking about it. It’s a form of denial, and acceptance is the antidote.
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We have the amazing power of choice, and rumination is giving up that power.
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The core solution for rumination is taking action to get your mind to a better place.
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Understanding chance and failure is the key to getting what you want out of life. It protects you from the sting of rejection, implores you to persist, and enables you to adapt to life like a pro.