How to Be an Imperfectionist: The New Way to Self-Acceptance, Fearless Living, and Freedom from Perfectionism

by Stephen Guise

Perfectionism (noun): “A disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable”1

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Perfectionism (noun): “A disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable”1

Perfect meaning.

(To be clear, “perfection” isn’t bad either—by definition, it’s flawless—but perfectionism is problematic.) Perfectionism makes you stay home, not take chances, and procrastinate on projects; it makes you think your life is worse than it is; it keeps you from being yourself; it stresses you out; it tells you that good is bad; and it ignores the natural way in which things work.

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When you treat how you feel as the deciding factor of what you do, you will be a slave to it. You will try so many motivational techniques, but in the end, your results will be as unreliable as your feelings.

Pivot point: perfectionism and imperfectionism are determined by what you care about. The following list shows what cares to have (or not) in order to be an imperfectionist. If you follow this advice, I guarantee you’ll be happier with your life: Care less about results. Care more about putting in the work. Care less about problems. Care more about making progress despite them. Or if you must fix something, focus on the solution. Care less about what other people think. Care more about who you want to be and what you want to do. Care less about doing it right. Care more about doing it at all. Care less about failure. Care more about success. Care less about timing. Care more about the task.

The Willpower Instinct, Kelly McGonigal, PhD, says, “Studies show that the more you try to suppress negative thoughts, the more likely you are to become depressed.”

Whatever you want to do more of in life—exercise, write, read, swim, dance, sing, laugh, and so on—lower the bar for doing it. If you are willing to do it in the sewer, you will never fail to do it again.

A List of Results to Stop Caring About The applications for “result apathy” are numerous: Improve your test-taking ability by not caring so much about your grade Be more relaxed in social situations by not caring so much about rejection

Deliver a better speech by not caring about mistakes or imperfect delivery Become less anxious by not caring so much about your anxious thoughts and feelings (let them be and don’t fight them) Reduce your depression by caring less about how many negative thoughts you think Improve your productivity by caring less about how much (or what quality of) work you get done

Confident people don’t need approval or validation from others, because they have both within themselves. Confidence is a skill you can practice and improve.