To a certain degree, my fifth principle comes down to having good manners. It means treating your spouse with the same respect you offer to company. If a guest leaves an umbrella, we say, “Here. You forgot your umbrella.” We would never think of saying, “What’s wrong with you? You are constantly forgetting things. Be a little more thoughtful, for God’s sake! What am I, your slave to go picking up after you?” We are sensitive to the guest’s feelings, even if things don’t go so well. When a guest spills wine, we say, “No problem. Would you like another glass?” not, “You just ruined my best
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