have worked with couples who find that the de-stressing exercise above actually adds to their stress because one or both of them feel very uncomfortable listening to the other express negative emotions, even when they aren’t the target. This is a form of turning away. I can’t emphasize enough how beneficial it will be to your relationship to give your partner the gift of being there when he or she is upset. After years of studying couples in the lab and working with them directly, it has become clear to me that happy couples live by the credo “When you are in pain, the world stops and I
...more
