The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert

by John M. Gottman

twenty minutes a day—working on their marriage instead of their bodies, they would get three times the health benefits they derive from exercise class or the treadmill.

The goal is to create an empathetic environment so the patient feels safe exploring inner thoughts and emotions and confiding in the therapist. Since

Conflict resolution is certainly easier if each party expresses empathy for the other’s perspective.

Active listening asks couples to perform Olympic-level emotional gymnastics even if their relationship can barely walk.

If you can accommodate each other’s “crazy” side and handle it with caring, affection, and respect, your marriage can thrive.

Contempt is fueled by long-simmering negative thoughts about the partner. You’re more likely to have such thoughts if your differences are not resolved.

Your ability to process information is reduced, meaning it’s harder to pay attention to what your partner is saying.

Creative problem solving and your sense of humor go out the window. You’re left with the most reflexive, least