told me that the key to her family’s affection for one another was simple: When they were angry they treated each other as politely as they would company. She was from Texas originally and had southern manners and grace. “Do you ever notice,” she had asked me when we were working on her husband’s obituary, “how we often say the most awful things to the people we are closest to? To prevent regrets in a marriage, with your children or in-laws, always say please and thank you and keep the thoughts you wouldn’t voice to company to yourself.” I realized if Stoli weren’t my child, I would know
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