Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny

by Holly Madison

In a few short months, I had gone from a friendly, optimistic, confident woman to a confused girl with a nervous stammer who second-guessed every thought that went through her head and rationalized every bad decision she made.

Men don’t achieve his kind of power and success by being idiots. He didn’t want a big, happy family of girlfriends that all got along. He wanted multiple women frothing with jealousy and animosity towards each other.

So much for the girl next door, I thought. The title of our reality show was inspired by the way Hef described the ideal Playmate back in the ’50s when he launched the magazine. Most women pictured in other publications of the era wore heavy makeup and very stylized hair. Hef wanted something different. He wanted his Playmates to look young and fresh-faced, not like “someone’s older sister,” which was how he described the look of most models at the time.