Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny

by Holly Madison

“I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.” —Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

In fact, it was like a bedazzled, twisted prison where the inmates developed their own hazing and hierarchy and where the release back into society was the equivalent of being excommunicated.

Kimberley Conrad, a few of his friends persuaded him to leave his compound

In some corner of my mind, I thought that maybe if I became famous I would have some value. Perhaps I would earn Hef’s respect after all. Maybe

don’t care about money, I just want to be wonderful,” was a Marilyn Monroe quote I lived

I just wanted to accomplish something . . . anything!

“We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.” “How do you know I’m mad?” said Alice. “You must be,” said the Cat, “or you wouldn’t have come here.” —Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

“I can’t help it,” said Alice very meekly: “I’m growing.” “You have no right to grow here,” said the Dormouse. —Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

do hope it’s my dream and not the Red King’s! I don’t like belonging to another person’s dream!” —Lewis Carroll, Through the Looking-Glass

wasn’t defined by the mistakes I had made after all . . . maybe those decisions were what allowed me to become the person I was always destined to be.