Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny

by Holly Madison

especially this crop of girls who looked more like garden variety strippers than dazzling Playboy bunnies.

Mandy and Sandy looked like movie stars. After they departed the mansion, the “Sloppy Seven” invaded and lowered the bar.

I could feel myself mentally regressing. My memory started to dull—and things I used to know with certainty started to fade from my mind. I’ve always considered myself an intelligent girl, but I could feel myself getting dumber and began second-guessing everything. That might sound insane, but I suppose you are the company you keep . . . and let’s just say the other six girlfriends weren’t necessarily winning any spelling bees.

Bitch why are you there then if you’re so fucking smart lmao

In Kendra’s book Sliding into Home, she describes Hef asking her to be a girlfriend and handing her a house key before he invited her up to the bedroom. Now, I don’t know if Kendra is trying to sound extra-desirable, innocent, or if her memory is just super rusty, but of course that’s not how it really went down.

Kendra wasn’t the bubbly, bouncy loudmouth you may remember from The Girls Next Door. Her personality could best be described as “deer in the headlights.” It was difficult to get a word out of her, and she seemed to have fried her brain somewhere along the course of her life.

Ok rude lol

It was such a memorable moment that when Kendra appeared in the main entryway with her lips painted bright red, my entire body tensed. It had been two years since Hef’s reprimand, but the humiliation still burned inside me.

WHy didnt you tell kendrabiut the lipstick if you were so butthurt no one told you???

It’s no secret that Kendra was a pretty hard-core party girl before coming to the mansion. She battled drug addiction throughout her teenage years and eventually became a stripper to make extra cash. When Hef finally asked her to move into the mansion, Kendra thought she hit the jackpot. After all, wasn’t Playboy all about excess? Money, parties, and sex.

Is this really your buisness to tell???

“Kendra dumped hot wax all over my leg,” I said angrily. “She knocked that candle over while she was dancing, looked right at me, and didn’t even apologize.” “I’m sure she didn’t mean it,” Hef said,

Im with hef onthis one

“That’s a really great idea,” she exclaimed, watching me draw the little trinkets on a large link bracelet. “Wow, you can actually draw.”

What cant holly do (rolling eyes emoji)

Recently, Kendra and I had been getting along really well, but as I had a full-time real job with actual responsibilities,

Ya sure holly

He kind of looked like a poor man’s Tommy Lee.

Tommy lee looked like a poor mans tommy lee

Unlike the ultra-feminine, docile fembot I was required to be as one of Hef’s girlfriends, with Criss I felt like I could be one of the guys. It was a refreshing change of pace.

No holly pls its giving "im not like other girls"

“Hiiiii,” she said in a forced singsong voice, offering me a limp, weak handshake. Was that a sneer on her face or is the midday sun causing her to squint? I wondered. Immediately my gut told me that something was up with this girl, but I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. She was young and new to all the commotion surrounding Hef. I chose to dismiss her shitty first impression as poor social skills and not the snobbishness that it felt like.

Holly just seems like the mean girl??? Idk

“Oh. That’s awful,” I said solemnly, bouncing my head back and forth from Tweedledee to Tweedledum, trying to keep up with the story.

She just said she likes the twins, was calling them dumb necessary?!

Peepshow wasn’t enough for me. I wanted my day job to be interning at the mayor’s office, learning how to run the city.

Random but ok lol