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The remaining lack for you is simply decisiveness. There’s a cognitive problem in all thinking creatures that is basically like the halting problem in computation, or just that problem in another situation, which is that until you know for sure what the outcomes of a decision will be, you can’t decide what to do. We’re all that way. But look, it may be that at certain points going forward, in the future, you are going to have to decide to act, and act.
It’s not so bad to be a prisoner, if you’re working on an escape.
When you discover that you are living in a fantasy that cannot endure, a fantasy that will destroy your world, and your children, what do you do?

