Mercury and Me

by Jim Hutton

Around April 1991 Joe became depressed about his Aids. He poured out his heart to Freddie, and said that he worried that when Freddie died he wouldn’t have a home any more. Freddie’s compassion kicked in at once. ‘Well,’ he said. ‘You find a house and I’ll buy it for you.’ A few weeks later Joe found a small house in Chiswick which Freddie bought for him.

It was during that visit that he made the important decision to come off his medication and die. He decided not to let any of us know what he was doing. The fight against his disease was over; he was ready to slip away without any further struggle.

I got into the habit of flying upstairs and quickly sticking my head around the door. ‘Hey,’ I’d say. ‘I love you!’

One night Roger Taylor was pulling out of The Mews late at night and made a sharp left turn into Logan Place. The photographers let off their flashes and, blinded for a moment, he crashed into a police car.

One paper claimed he’d asked Dave to ensure that his music never died, but it wasn’t true. He didn’t need to. Freddie was confident his music would stand the test of time.

Elton John came to visit him one last time, driving himself in his green Bentley. He parked right outside the gate, blocking Logan Road completely. His attitude to the press was ‘Stuff you lot. I want to see my friend and I don’t care about any of you.’

I can remember very clearly the expression on his face – and when I go to sleep every night it’s still there in front of me.

I stopped the tiny fly-wheel of the wind-up carriage clock by the bed. I’d given it to Freddie because he told me he’d always wanted one. It read twelve minutes to seven. I’ve never started it again.

Others were taken, yes I know But you were mine, I loved you so. A prayer, a tear till the end of time, For a loving friend I was proud to call mine. To a beautiful life, a sad, sad end, You died as you lived, everyone’s friend.

Since Freddie’s death, I feel proud whenever anyone tells me how much they enjoy his music. And I always think to myself: ‘That’s my man.’

‘Don’t worry,’ he said. ‘If I die before you I’ll tell him everything that’s been happening down here.’ ‘You won’t have to,’ I told him with a smile. ‘He knows.’