All of this means that to be happy in our daily lives, we need a high ratio of positive to negative. And it turns out, after considerable study, that ratio is three to one. We need three positive comments from a friend for every negative one, three wins at work for every loss.12 Of course, not everyone is the same. That three-to-one ratio is just an average. Some people might need only a two-to-one ratio and be fine, but others—people who feel losses and disappointments more deeply—might need a higher ratio. On top of that, if your brain simply ignores the positive events that happen to you—as
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