Dissonance also happens when you think you’re coming off as wise, but people see you as being sly—or when you think you’re coming off as passionate, but other people think you’re “over the top.” When that happens, the result is buy-out. Dissonance works the other way around, too: it occurs when you think you perceive someone else accurately, but the other person doesn’t agree. There’s hardly anything more annoying to another person than hearing you say, “I know where you’re coming from,” when you don’t really have a clue. Often this happens when you aren’t listening deeply enough to know what
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