Scared of going mad, of being sectioned, of being put in a padded cell in a straitjacket. Hypochondria. Separation anxiety. Agoraphobia. A continual sense of heavy dread. Mental exhaustion. Physical exhaustion. Like I was useless. Chest tightness and occasional pain. Like I was falling even while I was standing still. Aching limbs. The occasional inability to speak. Lost. Clammy. An infinite sadness. An increased sexual imagination. (Fear of death often seems to counterbalance itself with thoughts of sex.) A sense of being disconnected, of being a cut-out from another reality. An urge to be
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