Resilience: Hard-Won Wisdom for Living a Better Life

by Eric Greitens

Of course fear does not automatically lead to courage. Injury does not necessarily lead to insight. Hardship will not automatically make us better. Pain can break us or make us wiser. Suffering can destroy us or make us stronger. Fear can cripple us, or it can make us more courageous. It is resilience that makes the difference.

One quote he collected came from a young German who explained that he joined the Nazi party to be “free from freedom.” The desire to avoid responsibility can be overwhelming. That desire is so great that it has fed some of the greatest epochs of tyranny and acts of brutality the world has ever known. It is a desire so pervasive, so delicious, that tyrants have been able to rely on it in every era of human history. Responsibility is a heavy burden.

The Greeks recognized that great people could fail terribly and still be great. Wise people could sometimes be dumb. Courageous people could be cowardly. Honest people could lie, and compassionate people could be cruel. Today, in a culture that should know enough to be forgiving of human weakness, we often fail to remember that people are not great all the time. People practice greatness. They perform with greatness. People practice courage. They perform with courage. And then, one day, they don’t. This does not make them cowards. It makes them human.

Here’s another way to think about it: Human beings are not caterpillars. We don’t crawl into a cocoon and come out a different creature weeks later. When people begin, they are often too hungry for immediate results. When real transformation does occur in someone’s life, it usually happens through evolution, not revolution.

Human motivation is rarely one thing. And where it is one thing, that one thing is rarely simple.

Walker, it might give you some comfort to know that even Mother Teresa had many people who hated her.

You have enemies? Why, it is the story of every man who has done a great deed or created a new idea. It is the cloud which thunders around everything that shines. Fame must have enemies, as light must have gnats. —VICTOR HUGO

Everyone likes to say that they are offering constructive criticism. But you know what’s really constructive? Work. There are simple standards for measuring the worth of people’s critiques. Do they actually care about you? Do they just talk at you, or are they willing to sweat with you? Have they put any effort into what they are saying to you? Someone who cares about you, sweats with you, and corrects you when you need to be corrected is one of the most precious things in life: a true friend.

And if we’re going to aim for something, work for something, then it might do us good to spend some time thinking about what we’re aiming at.